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Back to square one

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by MaryMyers, Oct 25, 2013.

  1. MaryMyers

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    We're both 20**

    Earlier this year I was dating a girl from uni, everything was wonderful until her homophobic mom found out. The mom made her daughter feel absolutely worthless and would say disgusting things about me. The girl's brother would also threaten her, and her friends told her she was stupid for liking me/a girl and they were rude to me. My ex began to question her sexuality and the possibilty of us lasting, and ended our 'relationship' to save her relationships with her family and friends.

    It has been about four months now, during that time we have not talked for weeks at a time and have argued, which never happened when we were together. She began dating a guy who she said made her happy and who her mom approved of. Over the past few weeks we have become a lot closer again, and even had sex. She broke up with the guy a couple of nights ago, something that enraged her mom and she is still making my ex feel miserable and agitated.

    So now I feel like I've been sucked back into this tornado of homophobia and uncertainty and confusion. I don't know what to do. I think my feelings for her are returning. She has said that she loves me and can't move on. But it's basically doomed, right?

    What would you do/advise?
     
  2. Ianm

    Ianm Guest

    I would try and see if it is doomed i dont think it is. Love is something that is sacrid and riches everyone desivers love. Her family desgust me at the way they are treating the both of you it is just sick. If it is doomed then i would try and talk to her about the feelings you are having about this it might help you find out what she feels about it all. Im sorry if this is not very good adive. But i do hope you stay with her it seems that you turly make her happy.
     
  3. MaryMyers

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    Thanks for that!! Does anyone else have any advice?
     
  4. jalen

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    I recommend taking a break from that relationship. It's not healthy for your friend or yourself to be threatened or talked down because her family aren't okay with it. Then once some time is added to the equation, you and her can have a private conversation with her family.
     
  5. AtheistWorld

    AtheistWorld Guest

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    Are your parents tolerant about your relationship with her? Do they know?

    From the looks of it the two of you have a really durable relationship, you seem two care about each other a lot, and if both those things are true, I don't think you should break up, even if her revolting mother disapproves. All the abuse you've endured hasn't severed the relationship. The truth is her mother being repellent towards you isn't gonna alter your sexuality. And in my view this sets a bad precedent if you allow her homophobic mother to ruin your relationship. As a lesbian this probably won't be the first time you encounter bigotry - Might as well put up with it, let your relationship finish its course, and that will send the mom a message that she has to hear: you and your gf won't be bossed around by her.

    It'd really bother me if you made any concessions to her mother after the horrible crap she's done. You really should prioritize yourself and your lover above the haters.