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Best Friend keeps being close to me... Don't know what to do

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by aloaloalo, Oct 25, 2013.

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  1. aloaloalo

    aloaloalo
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    Hello everyone!

    I recently came out (again) to my closest friend as gay, and he was cool with it and said I had his support. My problem is what was going on right before this.

    I've had a crush on him ever since we met, which has been for 8 years. I liked him and wanted to see if he liked me, so I told him I was Bi in high school, he didn't react well, so I retracted it and just said I was confused. I never told him I had feelings for him. Over the years the feelings have subsided, but recently his what-seemed-like-a-serious girlfriend dumped him and he's been visiting me lately. He has been very close and touchy with me, nothing sexual, but my feelings for him have started to come back hard. Now that I'm out, and if these interactions keep happening, what should I do? How should I bring this up to him that it's bugging me? I don't know if I should say that I had a crush on him or not. I know he's straight, and nothing will come out of this, but he is one of my best friends, and I don't want to lose him. Any advise would be great!
     
    #1 aloaloalo, Oct 25, 2013
  2. Argentwing

    Argentwing
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    Definitely mention that his touching affects you, and he might be sending the wrong signals. Are you sure he's exclusively straight though? It's the only safe assumption, but there's always a chance unless he makes it absolutely clear.

    If you don't want to say that you have a crush on him currently, you could try the old standby, "I used to for awhile." If you throw that in with explaining that his touching makes you uncomfortable, he might get the message.
     
    #2 Argentwing, Oct 25, 2013
  3. WhiteShadows

    WhiteShadows
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    Personally,
    In that situation I would just welcome the touchy-ness... and enjoy it...
    which is a bad idea... and makes you pretty depressed if nothing more comes from it... so don't listen to me...
    Anyway, in all seriousness I think talking to him is the best idea
     
    #3 WhiteShadows, Oct 25, 2013
  4. aloaloalo

    aloaloalo
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    Thank you both for a reply, I agree that I need to say something, even if I don't want to :icon_sad:. I was thinking that this would be the answer and getting a confirmation from others helped solidify that.

    I just want to have as little of these feelings as possible, because I'm positive nothing will come from it. I mean, POSSIBLY saying that "Hey, I really like you" would make him reveal that he has similar feelings, but was too shy/afraid to reveal this to me on his own, but I highly doubt it. He is straight as far as I know, only talking about and dating women, but he is only touchy with me and none of our other guy friends... which confuses me even more haha! Plus if I bring it up, I can get an answer and I would never have to wonder "what if?"

    I haven't been put in a situation yet where I need to bring it up, but if and when that happens, I'll update this. Thank you! and if anyone else has some advice please share :slight_smile:
     
    #4 aloaloalo, Oct 28, 2013
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2013
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