Story should start during my relation. I am toooo dependent on him where I blindly listen to everything he says and thought that he is the one who will spend the rest of my life together. 6 years with him, I lost my all of my friends because I didn't keep on touch with them and they didn't contact me as well. He is the only friend I got. Soon after the we separate, I feel that my world become dark and empty. My class start next year and I don't have a job now, so I always stay at home. My family are working. So every time I woke up, I was alone in the house until my family back from work around 6. After a few hours in the empty house, I start feel lonely then I will start to cry for no reason for hours. I tried so go out shopping or walk, same problem, I feel lonely to walk alone in a big space. I talked to my mom about I got no friends. She says, bear it for few more months. When you class start you can make new friends. True but every day look like a torture to me. Another thing that make me cry is I worry that I can't get marry before 28 because I want to have my own family at the age of 25 ~27. (I'm 23 and getting marry is my dream.. silly but true :tears No one know that I got depression because I always show my strong mask in front of every one. How to stop the lonely feeling and depression? :bang:I don't feel like contacting my old friends because I don't think they want to hang out with me. I saw their photo where most of the friends I know is in the photo where they gather or drinking and I'm not invited. I hate myself when I start to cry. I haven't start thinking about suicide yet but I worry that my depression will one day kill me. Forgive me if my English is bad or my story is lame. :icon_sad: Thank you if you finish reading my lame story.
LonelyHime, I am going through the same thing at the moment. I just got out of a 7 year relationship with someone who I even discussed the idea of marriage with. It's not easy but you will get through it. The key is distraction. After my breakup I took a leap and reached out to some of the friends who I put aside for him to see if we could get together. You'll be surprised about the response and spending time with them will help your mind of the heartache. Forums like this are a good distraction as well and I am one to throw myself into work in school. It helps me avoid me time all together which is a good thing. I can't keep out of my own head.
Your story isn't lame, and im sorry that that happened to you. I went through some really dark times before, and I felt the same way, but not because of a relationship. I know it's hard, but you have to hang in their. Things will get better. I know how annoying waiting can be, but in time your heart will mend, you'll make new friends (although I recommend the same as PerryRob2008 recommended about contacting your old friends again. They just may surprise you.) and one day, you'll meet the perfect guy for you who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated, and you'll probably get married. But you can't let one jerk bring you down or ruin your life. One thing that really helps is having a hobby. Something to preoccupy your time with and keep you relaxed. Just hang in there and believe in yourself, and eventually things will start to get better. Times may be tough now, but they will get easier, trust me. (*hug*)
