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I've been keeping this secret for 7 years

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by CarmenSandiego, Oct 29, 2013.

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  1. CarmenSandiego

    CarmenSandiego
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Georgia
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    I'm caught in this weird soap opera thing, and for the sake of clarity I'll start at the beginning.
    I've been in love with a friend of mine, friend A, for upwards seven years. We were in middle school then, a group of three girls. At one point, another close friend, friend B, revealed in front of friend A that she had feelings for me--in which friend A intervened and said, "You don't really like her, you're confusing love for feelings of extreme friendship".
    Well.
    Needless to say, I didn't come out to her, and I convinced myself for a long time that what I felt really WAS just friendship. Eventually we all moved away and went on with our lives, but we stayed in contact. I met a boy, dated him, then met another one who I've been in a relationship with for two years.
    This is where it gets messy.
    Within the past year, I've confronted something I've always sort of known: I AM in love with her, and never stopped. I thought just being there for her was enough, but it's not. Unable to take it anymore, I confided recently in friend B, only to learn that she's actually been in love with ME for just as long. I haven't told any of this to my boyfriend. Many people assume that I'm straight, but the only one who knows otherwise is friend B, and I feel awful in the first place for telling her because I know that I can't return her feelings. I want to confess to friend A, just to get it out, but if it happens, it needs to happen in person. I'm at a loss. I feel so frustrated and hopeless that I've started to take it out on my boyfriend, which is despicable.
    I'm sorry this is so long-winded. I don't even know what I'm looking for... Help, I guess? Opinions? I've kept this a secret for too long and I've reached my breaking point.
     
    #1 CarmenSandiego, Oct 29, 2013
  2. Klutz

    Klutz
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    Do you love your boyfriend? If not, it isn't fair to drag him through this with you. I can't give any advice other than that, but I will send a virtual hug. (*hug*)
     
    #2 Klutz, Oct 29, 2013
  3. GayNerd

    GayNerd
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    It depends who you love more. If it is your boyfriend, try to take a break from Friend B to clear your mind.

    If you love Friend B more, you need to end the relationship with your boyfriend. It isn't fair to him if you're stringing your boyfriend along if you don't mean it. Then, you can start the relationship with Friend B. You could just tell Friend A you found out you are Bisexual later in life and haven't told her yet.

    I hope this helps. :wink:
     
    #3 GayNerd, Oct 29, 2013
  4. CarmenSandiego

    CarmenSandiego
    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Georgia
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Thanks, it's really helpful knowing that other people aside from me have the 411. Things got so clouded up in my head that it's been consuming my thoughts nonstop.
    I need to reach a conclusion before I hurt someone, because both of you were right: It isn't fair to my boyfriend. Plain and simple. Thanks again c':
     
    #4 CarmenSandiego, Oct 30, 2013
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