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Trying to cope with intrusive thoughts about school

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by monotone, Oct 30, 2013.

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  1. monotone

    monotone
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    So ever since I got a B- for a midterm I've been having really unpleasant intrusive thoughts, about how I should have foreseen the errors I made in the midterm and the quizzes so far. Of course, this has been coupled with the usual fears of failing this mod and dropping out of college, which is a big deal for me because a) I want to move abroad, and b) I don't want to face my parents' reaction s (as I have decided tangentially in a previous post).

    In the end, I've been sleeping most of the day away just so I can get away from the thoughts. Trying to study just brings them back at a higher level.

    I'm seeing my therapist in two weeks and an supposed to keep a thought diary in the meantime, but I don't even know how I'm going to survive the next two weeks. I know it's silly to feel suicidal over tons like grades, but I'm feeling that way nonetheless. So I've pretty much reached my wits' end about this matter.
     
    #1 monotone, Oct 30, 2013
  2. Nick07

    Nick07
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    Actually it is not silly and many young people feel the same.

    What I would do:
    I would make a battle plan :wink:
    Write down what you want to achieve. Not just "be a good boy"
    You want this and this grades. Or something else.
    Write a milestones - exams perhaps? If you already know the date, write it down too. Now, estimate how long you will need to study before the exam nd write it down too.

    If you have a big goal, always devide it into smaller, manageable tasks.
    You can do that :slight_smile:

    You can always try to write down what would happen in the worst case scenario.
    Then you may realize that it wouldn't be THAT catastrophic and irreparable.
     
    #2 Nick07, Oct 30, 2013
  3. monotone

    monotone
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    Thanks for your encouragement.

    About the plan, I tried writing it down but it gets me focused on the future, and that makes me anxious in itself. Usually, I get by by just thinking "what's going to happen this week", but it isn't working right now.

    About the worst-case scenario, yes, the worst that could happen is that I drop out, in which case I'll still have done my A-levels (more or less high school equivalent). Still, if that happens, I wouldn't be able to face my family - I kind of try to pretend that all is going fine, which is why they never figured out I had any anxiety problems until I told them outright. I can't seem to bring myself to show my true feelings to them.
     
    #3 monotone, Oct 30, 2013
  4. Nick07

    Nick07
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    Even if you decided to quit the school, it's your life. Not your family's. You will make a lot of choices in you life that our family won't approve. And that is fine. Be respectful, but live YOUR life, not their dream about you. I won't make you a bad son *hug*

    Don't let it ruin your health, you are doing fine and even make effort to make things better. Set a MANAGEABLE goal for a week then and stick to it. And remember, anything is better than nothing - even if you manage to do just a part, you did well, because you didn't give up.
     
    #4 Nick07, Oct 30, 2013
  5. bingostring

    bingostring
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    Interesting thought patterns quite common with gay people I think ...

    I mean perfectionism can be corrosive and worth talking through with your therapist to make sure it is kept under control. To train your mind not to think of this B- as a failure .. but just part of life
     
    #5 bingostring, Oct 30, 2013
  6. Silver Sparrow

    Silver Sparrow
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    Remind yourself that a grade does not define you. I have a designated worry minute, where I get to worry about things like my grades. If its not my worry minute, I don't get to worry.
     
    #6 Silver Sparrow, Oct 30, 2013
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