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Keep getting hit on by Gay Guys while minding my own Business

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Ludacris, Oct 30, 2013.

  1. Ludacris

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    Hi - not sure if this is the right place but I been getting hit on by gay guys alot lately and I don't know what has changed (i'm not 30 and it seems to happen more frequently). To be fair I get hit on by lot of women too, I am clean cut and not too tough looking (not square jawed) but I was raised by a single and mother and sisters! I have never fantasised about men and so it makes me feel unforgettable when I get hit on... I'm not sure but I think I may have been sexually abused as a kid by an uncle (I have never talked about this before in fact I don't know if it ever happened but I have this memory about playing bar-tender in between his legs which he was sitting just watching TV and he had pants on but something was the tap...).

    Anyway this is not the first time but tonight Im just playing darts alone after work and a group of guys come to the darts-bar for an after work event for a worker to play and one dude comes up to me and I can tell he's hitting on my, I do actually have a gaydar... I am not interested though and I never am but I am usually friendly and smile cause I can never be rude. Anyway It makes me question myself which lead me to gay forum for the first time but I don't find men arousing, my real thing is actually black/asian/hispanic/exotic non-white women... I do really like lesbian pron though and I have a foot fetish... Other than that I don't why I give off these vibes, annoying. ANyway I'm drunk so pls share your thoughts.

    Thanks!
     
    #1 Ludacris, Oct 30, 2013
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2013
  2. Saturn7

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    Hi mate,

    I've been hit on by gay guys too. I'm slim, generally considered to dress well and I am into arts. At clubs it happened a lot. Slim guy, fitting shirt, dancing in time to the music...
    Some of this is my fault too - like when I had a gig and my friend (female) thought it'd be cool if she painted my nails. I needed to talk to her anyway, and it made her happy so I obliged. I got hit on by a guy for that. But guess what? Painting my nails didn't make me want men! Shocking. Maybe that's why most of my Goth friends are straight!

    Anyway, people are a bit stupid now, and lack the ability to think about anything beyond what they can see or hear - specifically what they see or hear from their gods on TV.

    If you don't match the religiously approved profile, you can be called anything and everything under the sun.

    So, the fact is we're all people. I'll give you exactly the same advice I'll give anyone. Screw labels, they don't mean anything. You are who you are and that's all that's important. You should be yourself too - forget what anyone else thinks, as long as you aren't hurting anyone.

    As far as I'm concerned, when a gay guy hits on me now - it's a complement. Another human being finds me attractive. This is no bad thing. I'll be damned if I'm going to go out with someone who judges me solely on my appearance anyway, so if a woman is superficial enough to reject me without getting to know me...well, her loss :slight_smile:

    Turn off the TV, think for yourself and go and live your life :slight_smile:

    Regarding the potential abuse, I dunno how you feel about this, but there are people who are trained in counselling who you can talk to on a confidential basis. I will openly trivialize the modern religion, but not potential abuse. That's your call :slight_smile:
     
  3. gibson234

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    I wish we could swap problems.
     
  4. lukeluvznicki13

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    ermm....xD

    Well you must be lucky to get hit on by gay guys.

    Since you are questioning, you should try "experiment". Also look for clues, have you ever felt attracted to guys? Have you looked at a guy like in a magazine and thought "dang he is hot".

    You could also be having a bi curious moment, these usually occur when you're in your teen years. But it seems that you aren't a teen from what I can gather.

    Overall good luck in trying to figure out your sexuality. Perhaps you're even bisexual and like both genders but in different ways :slight_smile:
     
  5. malachite

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    It's a compliment, we gays have great taste.
     
  6. Saturn7

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    If gay guys have hit on me, then I'm not so sure about that...
    Well, I suppose desperation affects all of us.

    Hahaha, only kidding :slight_smile:
     
  7. Ludacris

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    I might add that usually these guys are not openly Gay I think. For instance last night the drunk guy trying to rub my back and kept talking to me way too in my personal space said he was married with 2 kids... Anyway thanks
     
  8. cantaccept

    cantaccept Guest

    some gay guys will typically hit on any guy that they find attractive. so that means, that he doesn't care if you're actually gay or not, he is casting his net wide and hoping to see what little fishees he can catch in his net. to this type of guy he could care less what you think, he's hoping you are interested, whether you are or are not. if you are attractive you will be hit on by both men and women. if you are effeminate in anyway, people will think you are gay and think they have a shot at you whether you like guys or not. end of story.

    if you are straight, which is sounds as though you are from what you said, then just ignore their advances and dont encourage them by smiling or being overfriendly. unfortunately some people will take that inch and turn it into a yard and then you may have issues on your hands. just be firm in terms of your non interest (no smiles, ignoring them, changing areas, eventually they will get the hint that you're not interested in what they have to offer.

    ---------- Post added 30th Oct 2013 at 06:20 PM ----------

    many guys like masculine guys that they can be secretely gay with or have gay experiences with and then they go back to wifey and kiddies. they may like you because they think you fit a "masculine but slightly fem acting guy" role and coudl be a good cover up for their double life.
     
  9. photoguy93

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    It must be hard, having so many people hit on you. Haha. I think I'd kind of like guys even, you know, acknowledging I exist.

    In my personal experience, you might not start anything, but you could be adding gasoline to the fire. Do you blame guys for hitting on you if you have your nails painted? Like....i don't think you should flip out if that's what happens.

    I guess that what I'm trying to say is...do you honestly think that you don't so anything?
     
  10. Ludacris

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    I think what you said here makes sense, I am slightly built frame but I always think I have a round un-masculine face the opposite of squared jaw and I am a pussy, I was always bullied and never good at sports... I honestly don't fantasize about men though maybe I could be bi which is a weird thought, I just don't know, at 30 I should know wtf! because I do have a gaydar, I can tell when dudes are checking me out or an awkward eye contact but it doesn't interest me, more frustrating than anything. I just don't know, even so I am still aroused by women and enjoy the honeymoon phase of relationships but then usually get bored and move on (this lack of commitment is another issue).
     
  11. Saturn7

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    Mate, there are people even on this forum who didn't come out until they were in their 40s, married and with kids.

    This isn't something you just decide.

    No one will admit to it, but us humans know far less about our species than modern science would have us believe.

    If it bothers you to be seen as 'gay', then act as stereotypically 'straight' as you can. Although, as a warning, you'll probably end up pushing everyone away then :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  12. Ditto.
     
  13. stocking

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    I wish this would happen to me but with lesbians