I'm 21 yrs old, I have a 1 year old with a man. I've dated women in the past also and I'm just very confused all of the sudden. I've found myself questioning my sexuality everyday now. The main thing is that I have dated men and I have a kid but all of my relationships with men have gone bad because I look for things about men that annoy me or I find unattractive on purpose. I eventually find myself not attracted to them anymore and I leave them. Every single relationship I've had with a man has been based on sex, because, well, I like sex. I've never really had sex with a woman because it makes me nervous. I've only dated, kissed a girl, the usual. But When I dated women, I wanted to be sweet to them, give them everything, tell them I loved them etc. Idk what I am and I really wish I did. I'm tired of questioning myself and I want to know for sure so I can finally feel free to live and be who I am, knowing what I am. I would love some advice, thanks.
Well, it seems that you're gay. If you feel sweeter and kinder towards women, yet seek to end relations with men...that's what it seems to me. I, personally, knew I was gay when...gods, there was no exact turning point. I just realised that I like women, period. But I also feel that I shouldn't tell you who you are, you need to find that for yourself. Good luck!
If there's one thing this forum has taught me is that sexuality isn't split simply into Straight, Bisexual or Gay/Lesbian. It does sound to me like you have a stronger emotional attraction to women... your relationship with men is about the sex, it's about your pleasure. With women you want to please them, make them happy, look after them. Its more caring. I identify as lesbian but its not because the idea of being with a man sexually grosses me out, maybe I could even enjoy sex with a man. But emotionally, women have my heart, they're the ones I always end up falling for, I highly doubt there will ever be a man I fall head over heels for and want to spend the rest of my life with! I would definitely explore your feelings, I know it's scary but every one deserves to be with somebody who they truly care for, I doubt a relationship based mostly on sex will ever make you totally happy. Best of luck!
I agree with WeAreYoung, you can't build a relationship based on sex and I guess you need to try dating a girl to really know what you prefer. Don't run into the first girl you see though XD Take your time and choose someone you feel good with
So just because you're 'lesbian' you could still find some men to be attractive? I honestly feel like I am gay but I'd be worried to come out and tell people that because I have been with men and dated them. They'd tell me I was confused or just lonely and I have a kid with a man.. But I think maybe I've just been kinda lying to myself, not really giving it much thought but I have known I liked girls since I was just a little kid. I grew up in a family full of church going people who don't believe in being gay so maybe I was trying to be what they wanted me to be? Idk.. Thanks guys! I appreciate everything you guys had to say It really helped.
Yea totally! I still can appreciate a good looking man but it doesn't mean I wanna kiss him or anything and I agree you can't build a relationship on sex I'm no expert on them I dated guys before I realised I was gay that took ages!! Good Hun xx
Sexuality really is the most confusing thing in the world! Personally for me, "lesbian" doesn't mean I'm completely unattracted to men, or i find them repulsive, or the idea of heterosexual sex is vile etc... I just realised that certain girls have made me feel something that no man has ever done. I can still look at guys and think "Nice eyes" or "Nice body" or whatever but I could probably talk to the best looking man in the world and feel nothing compared to what I would with my best friend for example. It's probably really confusing for you that you've had sex with men and enjoyed it but truthfully if I hadnt realised I was lesbian a year ago I'd have been doing the same thing! There is something called the "Kinsey Scale" that shows you dont have to be completelyyyy 100% I love girls I hate men to be a lesbian if you wanted to check it out Please don't think im trying to push you into accepting you're lesbian though, only you know how you feel, and its definitely something every one should decide for themselves! Totally understand how worried you feel about coming out as well, it's definitely not easy. Do you have any close friends who you know would be supportive that you can tell first when youre ready? Its much easier with a support network around you before you tell the more difficult ones. Feel free to add as a friend if you need someone to talk to
Ok thanks! I appreciate everything WeAreYoung and everyone else! Who knows what would happen if I didn't find this forum. I'm ready to accept who I am and I probably couldn't do it without the advice.
