Hello everyone. I'll start off by saying I have some serious issues. And it all seems ridiculous when i put it into words. To an outsider, it may appear that I'm making to big of a deal about them than they really are. And maybe i am. But here goes. I'm a 22 year old gay male, and early this year i moved from a very rural area into the city to get away from all the negativity directed towards individuality. It took me a while to get on my feet up here, but i finally have a job that pays good so i am financially stable. And now that I'm here where there are much more opportunities, I feel as lonely as ever. I never go out and do anything or talk with anyone. I just panic when im around people. im constantly worried about my looks, what other people are thinking about me, what to say to people, how to act... i just become completely closed off. i wish i could just stop doing this, i know it has to be in my head. but i can't help it. and its constant. i dont even know what it is im asking for. maybe im just venting. i just cant tell this to anyone and i feel as if i need to. so if anyone has any comments or words of advice, feel free to share. thanks
I think the problem is that you worry too much what people think of you-- precisely that they might think bad things about you and you have to do your best to prevent that. ^^Thankfully, you don't. Above all else, to thine own self be true. If something is important to you in even a trivial way, own it. Anybody who thinks it's bad or stupid is overstepping their authority, because over you, they have none.
I moved from the country to the big city and found the same was true. I was as lonely as ever. In fact my job was the only functioning part of my life. I think it was because I was essentially the same person and just changing the external environment wasn't enough. So I was shy then and I remained shy. I also had social anxiety and was scared of being 'out' due to internalised homophobia (if you know what I mean by that)... I think the key is to really take control of things by joining groups (activities,interests) and LGBT groups too. If you have deeper 'issues' then some therapy might help
Just try not to care about any bad things people might thinks of you and focus on what makes you happy. It might not hurt letting people know that you're socially awkward - realising that people are sympathetic and understanding is lovely! Have you been much of a socialiser in the past? Some people just don't do well in crowds - for the time being, if hanging out with people is giving you a lot of stress, just give yourself a break and some quality you-time.
