So I'm gonna try my luck here since I didn't get a response in another section of the forum, maybe I made it on the wrong topic. Do guys just back off and stay a bit far from you when they're not interested? Is it that common? So, I've been having a month of flirting with different guys and after a lot of rejection I'm feeling a pattern ...why is it that they all act that way??? maybe it's just kind of normal??? or is it my personality?? I'm not a 6 pack but I'm a bit fit and I have been told I'm cute sometimes, so I don't really believe I'm just plain monster disgusting so they would dump me instantly. Some of my experiences: One month and a half ago, spend the night with a guy I knew, after that night he didn't start anything, I was the only one starting interaction and he was following along but I got tired so I stopped, and he didn't insist. 3 weeks ago I started sexting with this friend, we met randomly one day and some touching and kissing happened. I kept contacting him because we were supposed to "finish" what we started when we met but he just didn't answer...like, at all, I even invited him to have dinner as friends or to go to the movies or something but he just said 2 weeks later that I needed to chill and that it will take a while to meet (no answer about the dinner or movies even as I clarified it was just as friends). And I know he read the stuff I sent in Fb chat and in texts. (It weren't that many, really). I believe he's closeted, but I'm not flaming around my sexuality and I don't really talk with people about my sexual and romantic relationships, and he knows that. Then last weekend I went to a party, got kind of drunk and then I met this guy, chatted a while, then he asked me to follow him and suddenly he started pissing and told me to piss with him, I was like :eek: 2 seconds passed by, he stopped and said "too late, you missed your chance", then left. I chatted with him a bit and repeatedly grabbed his ass throughout the night, and everytime I did that he'd just said "Damn" or rant in my native language and walked off. I was drunk so I didn't quite get the rejection, but he just didn't say anything like "I'm not into that" or "I'm straight" or "stop that" or "don't touch me" or something along those lines and I swear 1 out of 3 he just stayed there letting me touch his ass for a few seconds and then when someone seemed to be close he'd leave (another confused case?) Is it that hard to say "stop" or something along those lines if he didn't want it? or was it the alcohol? Finally, on Saturday I was flirting in a Halloween party with this guy in a lycra costume that was super hot, I complimented his body and he just laughed and walked away, I thought this was a rejection. Later at 4 am at that party some other guy asked about my sexuality and I told him, and then I just touched his leg and winked at him, he smiled weirdly and just moved his legs away while smiling. I stopped there because I was just tired of the backing off in the whole month. I had another 3-4 cases of plain "walking away" even while smiling, laughing, winking back, the look that seems that they'll sh*t bricks, the surprised look, and others...and that's taking a toll on me emotionally and physically. I'm even starting a whole intense workout to see if when I'm more fit and sexy maybe I will get less BS. I communicate and lot and try to be emphatic, sometimes I even ask "oh, you're not into that?" but I just get a "oh...um...(insert blank face here)" or is it that I'm getting too much closeted or straight experiences and I should just frequent more gay-friendly places?? I'm really getting tired and sad :icon_sad: With girls the rejection it's waaaay more blunt in my experience, but as I'm kind of new in flirting with guys, I'm not really sure... Is it uncommon for someone to just say "I'm not interested" or "I'm straight"?? Is it just that I come off way too strong and they just get scared? How did you guys get rejected? I want to hear your experiences and your thoughts on it!!! Thanks a lot (&&&)
Hi dapulu, First, let me say that I feel for you. I get the sadness of rejection- who hasn't been turned down before? Before I go on, let me just say that, in my experience, humans in general can be quite confusing at times regardless of gender. Yeah, it sounds like the guys you're flirting with are either uninterested, or else theyre just drunk. At times, I've found that (since I'm a guy) when I try to flirt with someone/am flirted upon, I can be very nervous, and very pressured, and sometimes the easiest path out of that suddenness is by simply laughing it off, by joking about it- you know, using humor to release the tension. But maybe those guys you've flirted with are trying to make a stupid joke to hint that "no, im not interested and this is kinda awkward and id like to get out of this situation". I'm sure it's not you, seems more like the guys you have flirted with just arent interested and wouldnt be even if brad pitt begged them to marry him. And the guys that you were talking to for a while and then stopped? my guess is they were on the fence about getting into a relationship, and got cold feet a bit after they stepped in. Seems like you should just ask the guy what happened. Disclaimer: Social mysteries are not my forte. I'm just guessing, I might be wrong. Do the world a favor and take any advice I give with a grain of salt. Trust me on this. namaste, buddhistpizza41 :smilewave
Hey there pizza! Thanks for the reply Well, I just gave up on the first one, and the second one keeps on being busy This is a little bit of what happened with the second guy..although more things happened too. We've known each other for like 2-3 years but we started getting a bit intimate 5 months ago. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/famil...90-am-i-too-persistent-he-not-interested.html I've asked the second guy multiple times what's up, but he just says "chill out handsome/give me more time hottie/and other cr*p" he's been like that for the last 3 months or so...but he's always been a workaholic so I'm not really sure if I should try for something here. What do you think? I'll keep you updated
I think this is a very difficult question to answer. From experience, when a guy is flirting with me and I'm not interested, I still find my thoughts go a bit hazy, I'm not really sure what I feel, what to do, if I want to flee the scene and avoid him for the rest of the night, if I want to continue talking despite not being physically attracted to them. People are complicated. Generally, if it's right you'll feel a spark between each other instantly, and if you don't feel that spark then you just get all the mess I described above where neither of you really know what's going on. That's my two cents.
