This may seem silly to people. But I find my self really unattractive. When ever I look in the mirror I'm just disappointed that a ugly face is looking back at me. I have heard people say I'm quite attractive in the past but I just can't see it. I look at attractive people and I can't help but feel jealous. I used to pretend to myself that I don't feel jealous or started to resent attractive people but now I just accept my jealousy exists. I been on dating site lately and no one answers my messages and I sure they just look at my profile picture and go "ewww". Any advice (or views) would be appreciated.
Well, the way i see it is, you may find yourself unattractive and others may find you attractive. But just always know that it does not determine your self-worth and value. People always say "oh, but everyone's beautiful in their own way" but I think that just reinforces that being attractive to yourself/others is important and it defines your worth when it really doesn't. Shouldn't it be more on what's on the inside of a person? Their personality and all that? That's just my view on this stuff anyway. And I mean, if people have said you're attractive just roll with it I guess, you know? Even if you don't think you're attractive.
No feelings are silly, it's what you feel and it needs to be respected. I took a peek at your pic and I personally find that you have very soulful eyes. I am often surprised at the difference between a photograph in 2 dimensions and the actual person in 3 dimensions. Certain lenses often don't do justice to the face, an experienced photographer with a proper lens could do it for you. More importantly, try to focus on the parts that you like about yourself; those websites are meat-markets anyway and are superficial to the core (ironic statement to say the least). Three dimensions are not the only dimensions by which you can be measured. Who you are says a lot more and is the more important factor in relationships.
having sneeked a peek at your picture too I (seriously) don't know what the issue is !! You know ... - (this is truth) most people do not like seeing their own picture ... you see it everywhere - most people fall for 'imperfect' people [what is it in this media advert model-crazy world everyone is twisted by. I mean, just look around you on the bus or in the high street. Classicly sexy guys are probably 1 in 200 at best] - some people actually have body-dysmorphia and will never be happy with what they see in the mirror. I am not suggesting you have BD, but you know what I mean You know Ian Hislop .. he is very attractive, because of his character and confidence. doubtless has wife and kids, It ain't his looks. So my feeling is .... you need to think about your feelings of general self confidence and then, when you have that, it will be more like a magnet to other people - if you already are a bit depressed, this will only amplify your negative thoughts a zillion fold
How old are you? I'm asking because I used to feel that way about myself but as I got older, t got much better. In no way do I consider myself drop-dead gorgeous lol, but I know I'm not ugly. If all else fails, chuck out the mirror and delete your FB pics lol.
Just because you find yourself unattractive doesn't mean everyone will find you unattractive. Like those around you, you have your own opinion of yourself. Of course, considering it's a fairly low opinion doesn't do any justice for you, but it doesn't make you unattractive. However, feeling attractive is really important. You have to love yourself before others can love you too. If you feel unattractive, you're unconfident, and unconfidence gleams like the sun to people around you. A stranger can pick up on it, and that's where you start having problems. The good news about this is that you can fix it: it's just self-esteem, and there is plenty you can to do increase self-esteem in the context of attractiveness. Maybe you're carrying a bit of extra weight you'd feel better without? So lose it. Maybe you dislike your hairstyle? So get a new one. Maybe you think you're not fashionable? So look in a clothes catalog and go shopping. Maybe you hate your skin? So start using skincare products. The list goes on and on, and while many people find these all rather superficial traits, like it or not we live in a superficial world and while I find personality to be of high importance in a guy I'm dating, I also want him to be attractive. A lot of your appearance and attractiveness is in presentation, not natural looks. Probably why the more vein girls don't step foot outside their bedroom without make-up.
Tbf I think that attractivness is in the most part genes. If you haven't got the looks you don't have the looks. ("polishing a turd") comes to mind.
Well in that case, what shall you do about it? If you've already decided that you are congenitally ugly and nothing can a) make you feel less self-conscious and/or b) look better, I'm afraid you are doomed to ugliness until the day you die lol. But if you want to give yourself a chance, here are some things that could help: a) fashionable clothes b) a new haircut c) smiling, being courteous to others, having a big heart (wayyy more important than you might think---your behaviors can overshadow your looks 95%!!) I'm the same poster who asked you about your age. 18 is young, as you get older, you may very well feel better in your own skin. You're still pretty much a teenager. PS.: "Polishing a turd" is a hilarious expression, but it's a bit harsh. I'm sure you look better than a turd.
