Gay Bars?

Try looking for 'gay friendly' bars and things rather than specifically gay bars. It could be the difference between a pub with gay people and a room full of cage dancers!

 

Seconding ElliaOtaku. 'Gay friendly' bars are probably more ideal than flat out gay bars. The issue for me isn't that they can be full of cage dancers, theatrics, and the like. It's more, and this may offend some, the people. A lot of gay bars tend to be very promiscuous and I have noticed the ones that attend the gay village in my city just go around kissing different guys all night, hooking up in ally ways, etc. The 'gay scene' definitely breeds a specific type of gay person, and if you're looking for someone to date it's probably not the best place to look for that person. Unless you're after something different...

 

Gay bars come in lots of different styles and flavors so it's hard to make sweeping statements about all of them. If you're in a large enough area, I'd suggest checking out several and seeing which ones appeal to you. While some places may indeed have cage dancers or the like (probably more of a big city thing), others will look just like any other bar except for some of the topics of conversation and possibly same sex PDA of various levels. Some things to bear in mind (although these also can vary by location):

PDA and dance floor moves that would probably get you thrown out of a straight bar will probably be barely noticed (or positively responded to) in a gay bar.

Shirts may be optional.

If somebody hits on you and you're not interested, be polite about turning them down. If your first instinct is to be horrified that anyone (or this person or someone like them) could even think to suggest that you should go have sex with them, then you are in the wrong place. It is an accepted behavior to hit on people in bars, gay or straight. You can say you're just there to hang out or dance or something, but thanks for the offer. Most guys will probably just shrug and go on their way.

Be nice in general, especially to the bar tender. Bars can have their own culture, and the guys who will sleep with everyone or who are creepy get to be known. If you are known as a nice and polite person the bartender or regulars may warn you away from people they think you need warning away from. This isn't guaranteed, but good manners/being nice often pay dividends in social situations. This is no different.

Gay guys may engage in sexually charged humor, even just in fun. If you can make a snappy comeback you will win brownie points. More importantly, sometimes a comment is a come on, sometimes it's just trying to be funny.

You are not required to drink, or really do anything you don't feel like doing just because you are in a gay bar. Don't panic if someone asks you to, and be nice (but firm) about saying no.

If a particular bar isn't doing it for you, try another. You might also check with the bar tender (or the website for the bar - also a good way to get a feel for the place before you go) to see if there are events or theme nights or the like.

If you see someone you know and you're not out, don't panic. Presumably they are there for the same reason you are. Walk up and say hi.

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

Well the worst that can happen is you'll end up in a room full of gay dudes dancing...hardly a disaster ;D

Hope you enjoy it!