Dear Empty closet, This is my first post and I'm sorry if it is in the wrong section, I am new to the site and am not yet oriented. I'm looking for advice or opinions on a current situation that I am in. I'm a freshmen in college and I'm slowly coming to the terms that I am bi or gay. I recently started a new sport that I really enjoy because of the team and because of how active it forces me to be. There is a someone on the team who me and my best friend always thought was into men but we couldnt say for sure because he isnt out or anything. About a month back my best friend and I went to a party that was consisting of mainly people from our team and then friends of the team. That night i blacked out and fractured my hand, so to say the least it was a pretty sloppy night. A few days following, the person on my team who we had always suspected was gay came to my best friend and told him that on the night where we had gone to the party that I had at some point taken his outreached hand and put my lips to his arm. He told my friend to keep it between them but i assume that the kid only told my friend because he wanted me to ultimately find out that i had done that. I was so shocked when my friend told me and claimed that it must be a joke because i had never openly done anything to give anyone the idea that i am attracted to the opposite sex. For the next two weeks the follow i felt like the kid was constantly ignoring my friend and I and i felt like it was because of what happened. I didnt know him too well so it wasnt weird that he wasnt talking to me, but he was barly talking to my best friend. a few days ago the kid ended up giving me a ride home from our morning practice. We didnt talk at all and i was talking to another friend that i have on the team about an upcoming school event and how i needed to find tickets that were sold out. The kid from the party tuned in and mentioned that he could probably help me get tickets. I was confused because i thought that we would never talk because he felt awkward around me. Today he put his hard on my arm when we were passing each other and i know that being kind and placing a hand on someone dont really mean anything, but i think it might in this case. I could be completely over analyzing the situation, but i have no one to discuss it with because i am closeted. I guess in this post im looking to get two things. 1 being opinions on if he seems interested, and then 2 things i can do to make sure he knows that I am interested, because i realized i have a crush on him. Thanks for any advice given, and sorry for the weird formatting. -C@ic
It isn't wise to try to force someone out of the closet in any circumstance. Even if you are sure that he is gay, it's something he has to come to terms with himself before others can successfully intervene. It's probably going to be the least heartbreaking option to be there for him if he decides to come out. Maybe you can build a friendship and then you can sort of confide this thing to each other. However, do not do this expecting a relationship. Do it so that the both of you can have an understanding friend.
