hi all, I hope it's ok to post this at this time. i had this colleague at work who I never spoke with the entire time I was working in a company. Just the other day I resigned because of other life priorities. Since I started working there, I found her personality and tone of voice way off and distressing leaving me with impressions that she deals with people insincerely. True enough, I hear feedbacks that a lot of people around the company dislike her. And I noticed how she felt outcasted by this especially during lunch hours. But since I also started working there, we were just strangers with each other, except for a couple of times she needed to speak to me because of a task. Then we just went back to being strangers. The odd part is, I always catch her staring over my shoulder when I walk by or when she's behind me. And I got feedbacks how she got attracted to a lesbian from a lesbian pageant on TV. she is also totally single. But I never had a clear idea if she could be gay too, or maybe bi or just bi-curious. For the hardest part, I felt complicated because even though we just ignored each other passing around the halls, I found myself liking her. And I have been the shy and indifferent type with girls that I like. A couple of weeks before I resigned, I decided to reveal and confided to my friends saying that I do like her and I need help. I had a Y-type necklace customized having clear and pink crystals, pearl beads and a peridote with diamonds at the end of it, a very special gift I deeply thought of to hand over to her on my last day of work. My friends asked me why do I have to do something like this at the time that I am leaving the company. And that i should have done my research if she's gay too. My reasons are lessons I learned from the past. First off, I don't want to be a gossip topic around the office so I chose my last day, at least I won't be working there anymore by the time everybody starts me as their gossip subject. Second, I didn't do anymore friendship investment like time, effort and money because when the time comes that i want to confess, the friendship would end up at risk even if the feeling is mutual. Because if a relationship starts, it might just turn into a break up. So bypassed all that. And another one of the hardest part too, is that it seems like no one knows if she's gay. When I had the necklace handed over to her through my friends, they left her alone in a place so I could reveal myself for her to know who is the secret admirer who gave her the gift. She was surprised to know it was me, someone who was a stranger to her, all throughout my employment. The whole time she was speaking to my friends and to me she was on top of her voice for the surprise that she felt. She even, kept questioning if i was serious then all she was getting was an answer, "yes, seriously." Then she asked why I had to do it on my last day of work. It was hard for me to explain. Then i just asked her if I could drive her home but she said she had somewhere else to go so i offered to drive her there too. Then I asked if I can drive her anywhere she has to go the next day, and the next, and the next, until i won't go anywhere until she says "yes". Feeling caught off-guard, she couldn't say "no" and she just needed to talk to a client. So I took her word telling her that I'll just get my car and wait for her at the drive way. An hour passed that I waited for her, my friend called me and met with me downstairs, went in my car and told me a sad news - she's not coming. And she gave a signal to my friends, it could be she's saying she's not gay. So, i felt heartbroken and disappointed. :icon_sad: got stressed and hyperventilated a little... Honestly, I don't know what to do anymore and i left the company already but with mixed signals, what if she just got a little overwhelmed with the whole revelation? Since we were strangers before, could be hard to even think that we could be intimate after what happened? I never had a chance to ask for her number. can't even add her on facebook since we have always been strangers. I don't know what to think of what she's going through anymore.
