Heylo Well so its my second post on EC. I feel better just by visiting this forum and thats good i guess. As lots of you are already out ... can anyone tell me how I can manage to develop a strong personality (and a thicker skin) still staying in the closet , so hopefully one day I will be able to deal with all of the response from people Like which daily habits could i change into better ones, what could I do daily to improve how i see people and how they see me, and become stronger , and more and more selfconfident though I'm still in the closet! Can I live my life happy in these coming few years of being in the closet? (till i'm independant you know) Hoping to get some advice and tips xx
Just remember-- you're in control of your own happiness. If somebody manages to take it away, it's because you let them. And this one gets me tons of mileage: "Never attribute to malice what you can to ignorance." If something offends you, it's far better to assume the person who said/did it is an idiot or otherwise wrong rather than actively out to get you.
it's definitely a process. you get better at it as you get older. i know mine's better than even just 2 years ago. you have to work more consciously to let people's idiocy roll off you until you get to a point where it's automatic.
Yes. Get a hard, labor intensive job. My most recent job really reminded me of being on sports teams in high school. I didn't realized how soft I was until I got into wrestling and football and once youre in and do it for years, you develop that thick skin. Same thing when I got that labor intensive job. I had been out of it for so long, I didn't realize how much I had softened. After long, I got tired of people fucking with me and you start to five it back and then not let things get to you so easily. But there's a song out there and it's called Sunscreen and there's a line from it that goes "live in New York for a year, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in San Fransisco for a year, but leave before it makes you soft." It's good to get some thick skin, but don't become callus. Know what I mean?
Sunscreen! Re: thicker skin, it might be a good idea to expose yourself with what makes you uncomfortable, because that's how you get used to whatever situation makes you nervous. If you hide too much, your fear gets bigger until it's bigger than whatever you're avoiding/
