So, there is this hot boy who I'm in love with, but I don't know if this a crush or a true feeling. Here's the thing, I knew him for about 9 months and the first time I met him was during March in track season and one month later I developed romantic feelings towards him, but it was a light feeling. I classified him as a crush, but I feel like it's something more. Now it is a stronger feeling than before. We have choir together and I sit close to him and do anything I can to help him when I'm around him. Anytime I see him I either get excited, happy, nervous, in a loving state, or positive state, my heart flutters and I smile. He's nice and hot, and a year younger than me, but out of all of the boys I liked he's number one to me. I try to not make a fool around him because I'm scared I do something stupid around him and I have social anxiety sometimes where if I do something embarrassing I pinch, scratch myself, call myself stupid, scream later and get anxious thoughts. Unfortunately he's straight. One time i saw this comic strip where there are two snails staring at a tape dispenser and one says 'I don't care if she's a tape dispenser I still love her' in my case it's more like 'I don't care if he's straight I still love him'. Is this a crush or something more.
Hi there. (*hug*) Since he is straight, I would think it is just a crush. But just try to take your mind off him since it won't really go anywhere with him. I hope this helps. :smilewave
It's definitely a crush and one that unfortunately probably isn't going to go anywhere. This definitely isn't what you want to hear, but you should move on and try to get over it. If you even have to ask yourself if you're in love, you're probably not. You'd know it if you were, because it totally doesn't compare to unreciprocated intimacy, attention, and care.
Tread carefully, you don't want to commit to this. Take it from someone who's been there. The longer you pursue a one-sided relationship, the deeper you fall into denial. You start to analyze everything: little things he says and does. It becomes an obsession. You try so hard to see signs that aren't really there. It can consume your life. In the end, you will be left with feelings of self-loathing. He can never give you what you want from a relationship. It isn't meant to be. There is someone "truly" meant for you out there. What if you miss meeting them because you are hung up on some straight guy? I apologize if I seemed harsh, but I've been at the end of a situation similar to yours and it is NOT where you want to be.
