I'll probably regret not posting this on anonymous, if a mod thinks its best to move it there, feel free to. So, there is a guy on my building, he usually comes at weekends and holidays since I live on a touristic city. I find him extremely cute and attractive, he looks between late 14s ~ 16, and I feel extremely bad for thinking this way, because of his age, even though he has "grown up" traces. I just turned 18, been around 3 months. This post is not about having an affair with someone bellow 18, its just a post about my feelings towards this one specific situation, but still, as a matter of information, relationships in my country are not illegal if with the consentment of both parties above 16 (or 15, I don't remember exactly). Even if there was a more relevant possibility for me to get intimate with this person, what I think is highly unlikely, I probably would feel so bad about it that I would not pursue it. This age difference, in the big spectrum is somewhat small, but why does it feel that weird and wrong? Is it because, at my age, a 3 year difference for less means strongly different physical and psychological traces? One side tells me to approach him, while the other only thinks about running away, and overall, I feel bad and wrong about all this. This is so freaking wrong .-.
Yeah, 15 might be pushing it a bit. I mean, three years wouldn't be too much if it wasn't the fact that you're both in the adolescent stage, but adolescence is a critical time for development and very fragile. It sort of depends on his psychological maturity. I mean, there's a very cute freshman in my school who's about fourteen, but even if it were possible that he would be in a relationship with me, I think that is a bit too much an age gap. Why not just become friends with him, so even if the age difference turns out to be too much, you could be a sort of big brother/friend figure. I wish I had that sort of figure when I was younger... And don't feel bad for not posting anonymous, the gap truly isn't too extreme, but it's good you were cautious and are seeking advice
Well, be careful about the legality. My boyfriend is about as much older than me as you are older than this guy, so that's not weird. Of course, I've seen people that are like 18 versus 60 years old, which is what I'm expecting, so part of this is a "Oh thank God" post.
We cannot help who we are attracted too but we can be responsible for our actions. I'd suggest leaving that fella to your imagination.
I'm 17 and I have a similar issue... I wouldn't be too worried, it seems to be ok in most cases... I'm mostly attracted to people 2 or 3 years younger than me... You can read my thread about it if you'd like: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexua.../114861-something-i-should-worried-about.html
At your age, it's kind of hard to understand. You're in between. Like, somehow, the minute we turn 18, we are automatically supposed to look up in age groups, even though we are still in high school. I used to be like that. I'd see guys who were like, 16-17 when I was 18 and I was like "uhh...is this bad?" But a few years later, once I got out....you realize, it doesn't matter anymore. There's so much more out there. In your care, I do believe that 15 is too young, but don't feel horrible for things you've thought. It could be much, much worse.
Thank you for the replies guys, you are always sharing experiences and useful content, this is why I love EC. In WhiteShadows thread there is a post talking about the influence of your crushes in the long term, and thinking more about that... I guess it has something to do with some of my experiences, because this guy I find attractive has traits that remembers me a crush I've had
