Queer Community Dinner... but I do not want to be called queer

My university is having it fourth monthly Queer Community Dinner this semester in less than an hour. Since I started coming out as Demi two months ago, I have been struggling with these dinners. If it was not for the September dinner I would not know that Demisexual was even a term. The thing that is bothering me is I am still coming to terms with everything but I sometimes refuse to acknowledge the demi part of me. It took me over a month to come out to more than roughly four/five people. One of which was my roommate and another was the leader of the leader of the LGBTQ center, both of which were there when I came the conclusion that I am demi and one who figured out on her own. She is good at reading people's energy, and I just told the other person. I am more out now, since I accidentally outed myself on a facebook argument, that was later deleted, but it was already out so I have since been telling more people slowly.

However, the last dinner was awkward, that whole day was awkward. There was hateful religious protest guy on campus, or as my friends and I call "creepy preacher dude, but that is a story for another time.

The pastor from the local United Church of Christ was there (not the awkward part) and he was talking about his coming out story and coming to terms with terms. He said that was taking assumption that everyone there was queer (awkward part) and I started to say that I am not, but one of the other student said that I am demi, so I did say anything about it.

I just do not want to identify as queer, not that there is anything wrong with it, but how do I tell some that even though I am demi I do not want to be considered queer?

It is so awkward and I do not want to stop going because I have a blast cooking for it every month and I do have fun there, but I do not want to be called Queer, even though I am attending the Queer community dinner.

 

I dislike it for a couple of different reasons, the first of which is that even though the LGBTQ/ GSM community has taken the term back, I still sometimes have the negative connotation about the word queer. Secondly, in is its positive sense, I do not feel like it applies to me since I am straight. I do not want to be anything different.

In addition, I have had my own issues with being treated in not the nice manners because of my involvement with the GSM community and this was both sides. Where I used to go to school for undergrad, I had friends had lesbian and bi (both genders) friends. There were people who were straight that I was lesbian because of this and two my friends, thought I should have been a lesbian, and tried to "convert" me, because they didn't believe that I was straight and thought I was lying to myself. They thought this because my identical twin sister is a lesbian. I love my sister but I am not a lesbian, and I do not want to associated with being one. I do not want that. I hated that they tried to convert me to lesbian or at least bi, and I do not want to associate as queer, because I do not want them to think they were right, because they weren't.

I hated the way they treated me. It wasn't right and because of the fact they thought I was a lesbian, there was a rumor that went around that I was. And an entire fraternity at undergrad thought I was, and my friends would not stand up to them to tell them that I was straight. They would say that they thought I was bi. I am hurt because of this and do not want to called queer because it reminds me how my friends would not believe that I was straight.

 

Yea, that is why I am really not fond of be labeled as queer.

 

That is a good idea Linthras.

I am sorry you had terrible school years. I was bullied growing up too, and I still hold on to somethings that happened then. I was not bullied for my sexuality, because I didn't know I was demi then.