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Do people overrate me?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by unknown17050, Nov 22, 2013.

  1. unknown17050

    Regular Member

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    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    I have often been told in my life that I am a good person and I usually reply with; "What makes you think that?" Because I sometimes fail to see what is so great about me. Not to sound low on confidence or anything like I constantly do, but I really do not get why people see me as such a good person, I mean sure; I do volunteer work, I'm more prone to helping an elderly person load their groceries to their cars; but other than things like that I still fail to see myself as a great person, and usually very commonly as of late, some of the newer people who enter into my life do not seem very fond of me, in fact I feel as if some of them hate me; weather that is an over-exaggeration or not I have my suspicions.

    So I often wonder why people whom I known my entire life like me while people who haven't either hate me or care so little, I am beginning to think that people just tell me what they think I want to hear to either cheer me up or make me happier while I have no issue, I was once asked back then why I always look so sad but I always tell them it is the way my face is built, I am not in anyway annoyed. I also know that not everyone is going to like me, but when I hear people tell me how great I am I feel as if they feel obligated to do so, but I have no evidence except for intuition drived suspicion.

    Is there any way I can figure out why and if these compliments are pure truth from their true beliefs or am I just running into alot of the wrong people as of late?
     
  2. method

    Full Member

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    You're sceptical of the positive comments others make of you. I think I can relate.

    For me, I think I had that mindset because when I looked at people, I would only ever pick out the flaws - "he seems a little slow", "she's got a weird looking face", "that guy is definitely underdressed for the occasion".

    Naturally, I would extend that same kind of criticism on myself. And so any compliment I got was really quite incongruent with my own self-assessment.

    The one thing which has helped me turn it around is to try and see the positive aspects of other people, and to consciously register it by telling them. This can be a hard thing to do, especially when you're not used to it.

    But since I've started embracing that mindset, I've become more accepting and trusting of the nice things people say about me, because I acknowledge my own positive aspects and have learnt to embrace them. (But still acknowledging that there are things I can improve on too!)