I allowed myself to develop feelings for a beautiful straight man. And now that the realisation has set in, the disappointment has set in as well. Intellectually I know Im falling for my mental image of him, which is naturally close to perfect. But it still feels crap all the same. And I shouldnt be feeling this way, I only know him at work. And we dont even talk that regularly. I know nothing about his private life. I need to find better techniques to prevent this from happening. Its not fair to me.:tears:
I can totally empathise with you, though I don't think you can ever prevent things like this from happening. Attraction is inevitable, your body wants what it wants. As a gay person in a world majorly populated by straight men, it's something we learn to accept and move on from. Its unfair, it hurts, but yes, it does happen and you learn to get over it. I have certainly had my fair share, and have learnt to preoccupy myself through other friendships, other obligations, work or pastimes. Perhaps though, in your situation, you may want to get to know him better. It seems to me that there is so much more you can know about the guy, even just on a friendship level!
Thx XBallantine. Sometimes Im shocked that it still happens. Just when I think Ive learnt from previous mistakes, BAM... happens again. Time to listen to some Carly Simon tonight.
If guys would stop being so attractive this wouldn't be an issue. Don't let it hold you back, it's just a misfiring of something that could otherwise make you really happy. Think about it as a lesson in what you find attractive. Think about that idealized perfect, fake image in your head and use it to help narrow the things you really like in a partner. LEARN from it, and that doesn't mean stop being attracted to attractive guys, it means take it as a sign that your eyes still work and you still appreciate things that make you happy.
Thx. I think this is good advice. That idealized perfect image does contain all the most beautiful characteristics. At least to me
