Is anyone else out there a total antisocial cynic? I deleted my facebook, have no good friends anymore and all I really enjoy is drinking beer, smoking cigarettes and pot, and listening to music, all by myself :/ . I think I'm setting myself up to be like this forever because I just don't care. Its what I like to do... Right now, my plan is to move out, attend graduate school and acquire a medical cannabis card/grow it at home. Socializing and finding a guy just seems too difficult, especially because I'm a pretty weird person. I'm shy and have really particular interests. lol :dry:
Hi! I used to be quite similar to you in the sense that I would much prefer to be by myself reading a book, watching my favourite series or playing video games as opposed to going out. But in all honesty it was because I think I was in denial. I was shy and my interests did not fit in with the mainstream. Though, I did find that I 'liked' the situation I was in because I felt I had no other choice. So essentially I subconsciously forced myself to live the way I was living, when in fact, I longed to have many friends and go out often. Yes, I did try to 'conform' so to speak and I now have many people who I can call true friends whom I see and go out with often. Eventually though I realised I could not pretend to like what they like, no one can. But once they get to know the person you really are, I'm sure all people will accept you. Initially I thought that people wouldn't like me, because people are picky and judgmental. I soon found out once I went to highschool/uni, that I was the one who was picky and judgmental haha. It's just a matter of give and take. But I know some people don't really like associating heavily with people, which might be your case. People may tell you, to do whatever you want so long as you are happy with it. But basing it on my experience, coming from a person just like you in elementary/early high school, i found it to be much more rewarding to surround myself with people. You will go to graduate school and will work and you will be surrounded by people. Keeping connections can get you far in life especially when you go through these two aforementioned things, and it's something I recommend!
Are you sure you aren't depressed? What you're describing sounds a lot like someone who is basically "giving up" and self-medicating with alcohol and weed... which is never a good idea. The other piece is, weed itself can take away motivation and passion, or further decrease whatever passion or motivation you had before starting to smoke. Either way, it definitely sounds like you're not in a place where you're feeling happy, motivated, or focused on much toward the future, and that isn't a great place to be. Have you considered seeing a therapist and discussing what you're feeling? My guess is that with help, you can get yourself into a much better and happier mindset.
I agree strongly with the others. Depression is indicated in your post and, as if struggling with sexuality isn't enough stress, smoking weed copiously is known to bring on depression and other mood disorders. I think you should think hard about making a huge shift in your life... consider this time a "fork in the road". A fork you may later in life regret not taking.
Ah man I've been working on the depression and it seems better than it used to be (I used to not want to wake up and start the day at any cost). I'm taking anti-depressants (effexor and abilify) and I just finished transcranial magnetic stimulation therapy and it seemed to help a tiny bit (which is mildly discouraging considering it has been deemed the next big thing for depression [lots of people have completely turned around after it]. Maybe once my situation is better I will be happier? thanks guys. I actually haven't smoked pot in a week because I'm trying to get a volunteer job at the hospital. Idk I've used pot in a recreational sense for six to seven years or so but now but lately I've just been taking a couple of hits a day to deal with things. Idk I really wish it was approved medically for depression and anxiety. It seems to help me more than anything else I've tried. But I'm trying to take a break and see how it affects my mood. I'm just feelin really antsy and angry about everything right now. My friend just took his life and I have no one to confide in other than my mom. I appreciate the replies. ---------- Post added 24th Nov 2013 at 07:34 PM ---------- Chip. I know you know a lot about psychology/mental health/ and addiction. Do you know any gay guys like this or am I destined to be alone? I feel like I am giving up but part of me accepts this as part of my lifestyle. I'm naturally cynical and substances take away that part of me. Any comments? ---------- Post added 24th Nov 2013 at 07:36 PM ---------- O. and for some reason. Cannabis actually makes me more interested in life and passionate. I'm more creative musically (I make hip hop beats) and I find myself more interested in science and my career when I'm stoned (I graduated with a bachelor's of science in Biopsychology/neuroscience). I'm not trying to justify drug use; however it does irritate me that what helps my mental health the most is deemed "druggie" by society.
