I like sex. Okay, I like the idea of sex. Sex. Scares the shit out of me. I can barely masturbate to the idea of it just because i know in reality it would end with me having a panic attack. Even as i write about sex right now, i'm getting sick to my stomach because nerves. But here's my latest milestone. 4 consecutive nights of no nightmares. And it feels so good. I have been sleeping like a gosh-darn bolder. This added to the fact that my girlfriend can touch my sides, and i don't flinch or get uncomfortable makes me so happy. :icon_bigg But... I know I have a ways to go before i can call my sex life a healthy one. It's been three years since the rape, and this is what I've accomplished. Anyone out there on the road to recovery too? I feel like I've finally crawled on...
I am the victim of sexual abuse/sexual assault/rape and inappropriate touching, and sometimes it still gets to me. I am trying to forgot about what happened, but, it is still in my head. I am proud of you for your milestones and the nights you have had with no nightmares. It must feel really good for you . Life is a journey. We have to work for things. You are doing a great job .
