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I need advice...HELP ME PLEASE

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by TheMightyBoosh, Nov 29, 2013.

  1. TheMightyBoosh

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    :icon_sad: Hey everyone...
    I really need advice, any advice.
    :help:

    I am having such a hard time with social anxiety and getting out..
    I am having trouble leaving the house at all.

    It sucks because I managed to at least go to college before and now I can't even manage that :bang: Say if I go in to a shop and the person behind the till starts talking to me, I dunno ask me how my day is or something I panic and then when I get home I panic for hours about it then don't end up going out for a long time and the process repeats... sometimes it's easier then others. It depends where I am..ect I like going to places I know. Going somewhere I don't know well panics me.

    I have made so many excuses in the past when people have wanted to meet me or go somewhere with me.. I lied so much that I think that lead them to not bother anymore.
    I couldn't manage it... Lies like "I don't feel well"--- "I have to look after my sister's, my parents are out" :eusa_liar or "I have an appointment" *sighs*

    I want to do normal things
    Go out with friends and have fun but I don't have anyone anymore..
    everyone forgot me once I got ill with all my mental health problems.

    I try stay positive but it gets hard.
    If I had a friend it might be easier because I wouldn't be alone when going out but I find it hard making friends or even talking to people I don't know in person.

    It's such an awful feeling, I'm incredibly shy too so this just adds to it.

    Has anyone else experienced this or knows anyone with the same problem?
    Are there any steps I could do to make the proccess easier or ways of managing when out and socializing?

    It makes me so uhappy to the point I hate waking up in the morning knowing it's another day like this. :tears:

    (additional info: I went to the doctors with my mum maybe 4/5 weeks ago, which was so hard because my mum wanted to see how'd they would go with putting me on some anxiety medication.

    The doctor was shocked and said that I clearly need some help but didn't want to put me on any medication because It would make me worse before I get better and because I have no support to help me like any therapists that it would worry her but she said she would get in contact with the therapist I used to see and find out what's going on because I am supposed to be being transferred onto "adult services" months and months ago...seems they have forgotten about me. They were supposed to get in contact shortly after my last session but never did.) :confused:

    [​IMG]

    "I wish thing's weren't like this and that it'll to get better"

    Thankful for any responses.
    :rolle:
     
  2. purplekitty

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    Hmm...I've never felt such social anxiety before, but I have felt other kinds so hopefully my advice will still apply.

    About the doctor, maybe you or your mom could call them? Tell them your name and ask them if they have made any progress with your case. Ask them about the therapist. If they don't do anything, pester them with some calls until they get the job done.

    As for the anxiety, maybe you could try some relaxation exercises? Try meditating, and taking deep breathes and trying to clear your mind of your worries. To start, find a nice comfortable place to sit and relax. Don't lay down though, or you might fall asleep. Then with deep breathes, relax your mind. When you think of worries, acknowledge them, but don't obsess over them. Peacefully let them go. Try doing this for about 5 minutes, and then later expanding the time to 10 or 20 minutes. This kind of thing takes some effort at first, but with practice it becomes more natural. Eventually, you can become good enough that you will be able to do it on the fly in less controlled environments. Then, when you're out in public and you start to panic, you can take deep breathes and it can help lessen your anxiety.

    I hope this technique works for you like it did for me and my anxiety. :slight_smile:
     
  3. TheMightyBoosh

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    Your advice very well applies here...
    The doctor wrote a letter to them but they haven't seem to have responded to it, but I think I'll ask my mum to try and find out what's happening and to phone them. Pestering them sounds like a good plan. :grin:


    Meditating sounds like the perfect thing for me because It doesn't have to be so time consuming and can be for a few minutes.. Thank you for the advice. I shall give it a go.
    :slight_smile:


    THANK YOU
     
  4. WeAreYoung

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    I really, really sympathise with you. (*hug*) I suffer from social anxiety myself (not as bad as I used to be) and I understand how hard it is. Unfortunately in my experience there isn't a quick fix, it's something you have to work at if you want to improve it. I was terrible in school, would barely speak to anybody except a few close friends, but once I left and got a job caring for adults with learning disabilities I HAD to do things that i found terrifying. Including simple things like making phone calls to my boss or making doctors appointments. Supporting them in a supermarket... I think my job has worked miracles for me, I found that when i could hide behind the role of the "carer" i felt so much more confident. When I made that phonecall to book a doctors appointment for someone, I wasnt "me" i was a "carer". I felt 10x more confident when I wasnt me. Its a similair thing with some actors I believe, when they're in a role they're confident as anything but see them in an interview as themself... a very different story.

    Maybe it would be a good idea for the future to try and get a job somewhere (even if it's only for a few years) where you can be in a "role". Caring, working in a shop etc... I know interviews are the worst nightmare for people with social anxiety, I was soo soooo sick before mine. But I'm so glad i put myself through that now because my job has helped me out immensely. I will still feel nervous talking over the phone, but it's not like it used to be... where I'd have to plan everything I was going to say, where I could barely breathe, and i'd feel sick. You will probably find you're becoming more confident without even realising it. So that really is the best advice I have, learn confidence through being able to be someone else, and it should rub off on you too :slight_smile:
     
  5. bingostring

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    I had this and still sometimes find myself stuck not wanting to go out or fearful of parties and shops etc

    My understanding is that CBT is a good way to address this. There are also some good vids on YouTube about SA and CBT.

    I also think that your doctor could let you have some meds to help in the interim - because lining up CBT may take some time.

    SA really sucks, THAT I know !!!

    If you have any questions do message me?
     
  6. TheMightyBoosh

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    :slight_smile: I completley understand that whole kind of if you don't feel confident at least make out you are, I loved acting as a kid but was always too shy but as I got a bit older and with my friends I would feel confident portraying a character. :rolle: Acting is one of my many loves.

    I do want to work...a lot, it will be nice to feel more independant :icon_bigg I think I shall have this as a goal and something to work for.

    Interviews are so scary :confused: but I know I have it in me I just need to overcome this.
    Thanks for the advice, you really helped (*hug*)

    ---------- Post added 30th Nov 2013 at 07:25 PM ----------

    Thank you for taking the time to reply. :slight_smile:
    It sucks and is so hard sometimes.. :confused:
    I think maybe I could mention CBT to my mum, It was suggested to me a while back but I didn't feel able to manage.

    I do watch some Youtubers who talk about how to manage and reduce anxiety..which does help, makes me feel less alone. I don't really know what CBT consists of though... :rolle:

    As for meds, well my mum has been trying to get me some for ages...so so long but my therapist at the time refused she said there was no point giving me anxiety meds if I was in the house doing nothing, she said because they wont make me go out and that I need to take steps first... :dry: so I did and started going to the shop with my mum probably 2 times then she didn't she said to wait till adult services as It was nearly my 18 and now here I am waiting to hear from them to find out about adult services. :tantrum: Grr It's frustrating.

    Thanks so much for your help
    :grin: