Loneliness Gets Worse Around the Holidays?

Oh I know that feeling all too well! It sucks! In fact to this point I believe I am the only single person in my family (except my grandma) over the age of 15, so I can completely relate to that.

As far as getting over it is concerned...pfff...no idea! Wish I did. I just try and remind myself that I would be worse off if I just went into desperation mode and dated the first person that happened to show an interest! Like you said, you want someone you really like, I basically just cling to the idea that I'll find someone like that eventually...

As for meeting new people...try and find a group that does something you're interested in. Join a club or something. There are plenty of websites that list that sort of thing. Then force yourself to go and join in. I realise it doesn't help with the whole 'fear' thing, but it's really the only way...

 

I get you so much. Loneliness gets so bad around the holidays, just like you said, when you see other people getting closer and you have no one to be close to in that way. It can be hard. It's the season of coming together and happiness and spirit, so being romantically alone can get so hard. Maybe you could find someone else who is single, even just a more distant friend, to relate to and get a little closer to over the holiday, even if all you do is text every day.

I wish I could help you figure out how to get out there and make friends but I'm no good at it either. All my friendships and relationships came naturally, I have never actually tried to make friends with any success. All I can suggest is what happened to me; hang around the places that you like the most and you will be more likely to meet people that you enjoy.

 

It's pretty vexing that during the holidays we are surrounded by people, family, friends, and even just the crowds at the mall, and yet we can feel so alone. For me it gets compounded when I watch Christmas movies, or your occasional LGBT Coming of Age movie/book. For years it just seems to come and go, but every time it comes, man does it hit hard. And it always feels so never-ending.

But then you forget about it for a couple of days, and it's like it never happened. That is, until something jogs your memory. I wish could help you and myself. I wish there was something that can remind us all of the lives we have now and how it could be worse. We all tell ourselves the same things to: Time changes, people change. But how many times can we keep telling ourselves that before we believe it or not?

The way I see it: you wake up and you've done the most important thing you can do in that day. Then you look around at what you have and just remember, it could always be far worse than today.

I hope that helps some!

 

I feel very similar, especially during the holidays. I haven't come out to anybody yet, so usually after a few hours people start asking me if I'm with anyone, or have my eye on anyone, or if I have any plans, and I hate it. It makes me feel so little and invisible. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my family, but I wish I had someone special to spend it with. Ah well, someday.

 

I almost always get more depressed and lonely around the holidays. I don't know why though

 

I know that feeling well. And so many of my family members ask me "Do you have a boyfriend yet? Why don't you have a boyfriend?" It's not a fun time.

 

I can totally relate. I'm always empty and alone on the holidays...even when it's not a holiday.

*hugs* Aww, that's too bad. (&&&) I hope you find someone someday

'Girlfriend' for me but yes.

 

Same here. And that's even with friends and family around.

Don't get me wrong. I love my family and all my friends, but emotionally I don't really feel intimately connected with anyone. Normally I don't mind as much, but around the holidays is when it feels more vivid.

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone." -- Robin Williams

 

Even though i have a gigantic extended family. I've always been alone (i do mean that i am the only transgender person in my family. I am aware that there are 2 people that are gay in my family possibly a third). I used to it so it doesn't bother me. The worst time for me to be alone is on Valentine's day. I can't stand it because i haven't had the chance to show anyone how awesome i am. Hopefully now those options can open up for me. But for the most part i have always been a loner. Usually when i have to hang with my extended family. I sit away from everyone else and sit by myself and drink alcohol alone. I have an open door policy though if you decide to follow me and hang out i'll have a conversation but otherwise i like to sit quietly and drink my alcoholic beverage. I do notice that alcohol makes less social because i don't talk as much because i know i'll say something stupid. Sorry, for typing so much. I am hyper and i have too many thoughts pouring out of my hands. Make it Stop! LOL

On that note i will be going to bed.

 

Yeah. Holidays just kinda suck. Oh well. Who the hell needs people to keep you cozy in the frosty mornings when you've got hot chocolate and candy cane ice cream?

 

I find myself sometimes purposefully being alone. Like when there is just too much around me and I feel lonely on the inside, I just hop in my car and drive the country or walk the streets of the city. I never feel as lonely when I am purposefully alone. But put me in a room with people and it's like a million voices and I am silent. It is deafening and maddening.

I've learned to accept the holidays as two things:

1. The spirit of family and friends celebrating thankfulness and renewal
2. The push by marketers and entertainment that being alone romantically on the holidays is a bad thing. I gave up and am trying to enjoy myself.

Is it working? Come back to me after Valentine's!

 

I've decided to just sleep thru Christmas day. No one will notice. I'll get the usual 1 phone call & a couple of texts.

 

I think New Years is somehow just a little worse than Xmas for me.i mean Xmas hurts, don't get me wrong, but it's supposed to be a family day, and maybe you can slough off not having someone special then... ( all I really want on Xmas day is a partner to wake up next to actually. ) but New Years is like a date night, or a day where you celebrate with a date and friends or other interpersonal attachments that you've made. Unlike a Xmas, where you really can't control who your family is, maybe,I think I should have more people I want to spend an evening partying with.

I realize how empty life is.

 

I think it is quite common to feel that way drung the winter months even for couples. A lot of it might be vitamin D deficiency and ofcourse another aspect is the darkness. When it is day time people tend to me more easygoing and happy but when it is dark, and especially if you are alone, it makes you think.

And excellent way to combat this is to not let the loneliness take over your life. I like to start my days dancing around in my flat with a hairbrush in my hand, dancing to music while getting dressed. Sice I started doing that I have been a lot happier, so I guess you just have to find something that give you that little extra energy boost to get you through the winter

 

god i'd take holiday loneliness any day VS birthday loneliness & expectations

 

holiday loneliness sucks because you want to be with someone special or have someoen special that wants to be with you. yes, its good to have your family but when everyone is buying gifts for their boyfriend or girlfriend and you're all alone again year after year, it sucks. maybe i should just give in. it doesn't matter anymore

 

I am the same

Christmas was once the highlight of my year

Want someone special - don't have anyone
Everyone else seems to be having fun

Both parents died at christmas, so sad memories come back
And its my birthday on New Year's Eve

My mother died on my birthday which is a double whammy

So .. maybe the answer is to hook up with other miserable people ((!!)) .. there must be many of us around !!!

 

loneliness is horrible I moved into my own flat this year i moved out of mums at 18 then i shared a house with some others but now am by myself in my own place at times ive felt shit now with Christmas coming up am going to be spending as little time as possible in my flat .

 

My problem is when I feel lonely my mind tends to run around in circles. That just fleshes out all of the memories that I choose not to remember and suddenly I feel even more alone. This past Thanksgiving was pretty rough because I felt alone amidst a sea of people, and I was getting super aggravated at people because of it.

Does anyone else get really annoyed when they feel lonely? I tend to chew people out for the smallest things because I am in a lonely mood.