Do long distance relationships work?

I live 1000 miles from my girlfriend. We skype every day, send letters and gifts.

It isn't easy, but it works. We're even engaged.

 

Married over ten years to a woman I met online

It's not easy no...but it can be done. My best suggestion is to not let all the mystery out right away. Take your time. When you are online all you have is typing or talking and you lack the physical aspect...but have no fear...if you and she were meant to be distance won't ruin that

Foxface

 

I have a cousin who recently got married. For four years he and his girlfriend lived about 900 miles apart.

 

My ex and I lived about 1500km from eachother. We were in a long distance realtionship for 4 years. After that we lived together for a year and were engaged, but it didn't last as I had to go back to my own country to study, and once you have lived together it is Impossible to go long distance again. We also only saw eachother once every 3 months so it was tough.
Just be careful with your emotional stress levels, I ended up in hospital twice with amnesia because my brain couldnt handle it so I collapsed and stuff.

So it it possible, but be careful.

 

They're not easy,
But from what I've found,
They have as much chance of surviving as a normal relationship.

If the person is your type physically,
And they blow you away mentally,
There's hardly anything to stand in your way!

The issue is when one partner is more infatuated with the 'image' of the other person,
Or needs more physical attention than the other(Which is a fair demand),
It's just if you're "Right" for the other.

 

It depends. I think it can work, it just is very difficult.

The kind I did - when I was like 16 and stupid with relationships - was a huge mistake. It you're older and mature and know that this is hard, then it might stand a chance. I just....don't really think they have as big of a chance.

 

My ex is about 2,500 miles away from me. A lot of people were trying to discourage me from pursuing, but I ignored them and tried it. We ended it on a really good note, and are still really good friends (we were close friends before) and are closer now than we were before. Most of the reason we ended had to do with the distance and partially because she wasn't sure of her feelings towards me. I don't regret it one bit because I did gain some relationship experience, and it helped me to see that I was capable of a relationship and on top of that, it helped me realize that I was capable of being with a girl. Would I do an ldr again? I would do it again if the opportunity arose.

 

I'm currently in a long distance relationship that began in September. I don't know the distance but we're about 6 hours apart. There have definitely been a few hurdles we've had to get over adjusting to it, but it's going well so far. He's coming to visit on Monday, and I think if you can visit occasionally that's important. Obviously I've not been in this LDR long enough to fully comment, but I haven't regretted it once. We've found communication has really been important, and we try and Skype as often as we can. If you really like her, you should give it a go. If it doesn't work, then at least you tried. If you don't attempt it, you'll be left always wondering. You might fail, but you never know until you try. And by the sounds of it, it has the potential to be really great.

If you're interested, you can read my thread about long distance relationships that I started before I decided to give it a try here. I got some good advice, and it helped me to decide that I was doing the right thing.

 

Well, seems you have already come to a conclusion, but some thoughts nonetheless!

First of all, LDRs can work or fail in much the same way any relationship can. Living together is not a guarantee of success and not living together is not a guarantee of failure (and vice versa). So obviously all other relationship advice applies: communication, honesty, trust, planning things etc. are all necessary.

From what I've seen, making something work long-distance does mean there's a few very specific points to think of:

- If you really absolutely need physical contact on a regular basis, things might get really frustrating really fast. How much physical contact you need is different from person to person (I think the last time I hugged someone was back in March, and I'm not bothered by that, while I have friends who get frustrated after two days without one). But it is something you need to think about.
There will be times when you thought you could plan a meetup and it falls through, or when you really feel like someone close by would be able to give you a hug and it's important to be able to accept that and not take it out on each other.

- Planning communication is doubly important in LDRs. If you're meeting up physically it's hard not to focus on each other. When most of your communication is through technology, it is better to really plan on doing stuff together, or having a regular time to share updates. Otherwise you just run the risk of having hasty text messages or random snippets of hellogoodbye in between.

- Trust and confidence is also quite important. There will be times when you're in front of your skype, all set for a good talk... and you get a text that something happened and they can't make it. Or you'll text and not immediately get a reply. Or there'll be times where you might not get to talk for days or even weeks. Most LDR breakups I've seen happened in times like those. One party starts worrying, sometimes even assuming things "if you really loved me, you'd MAKE more time on skype!" or "You said your cellphone went dead, but can you PROVE you weren't with someone else?"
While it happens in short-distance ones too, I've seen it spiral out of control real fast in LRDs. In an LDR you both really have separate lives, which makes it much easier to start imagining things. So to some extent you do have to trust the other person to do an effort, and not imagine them leaving you or cheating on every turn.


Others might have other key points, but I think the above covers the basics I can think of. Definitely food for thought if you're planning on entering one. Whatever you do: take care and good luck!

 

I had two long distance relationships. One with a guy in OK (I'm in NC) and another with a guy in the UK. We found that we needed to communicate, have trust, etc etc. They in the end didn't work out because I realized I wasn't into them. But, they can work. It all depends on the people.