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Tearful Goodbyes

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by sublimeprincess, Dec 8, 2013.

  1. sublimeprincess

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    My boyfriend and I love being together. He makes me laugh and he is so accepting. Yet, in the summertime he's going to be in the armed forces, and I won't be able to see him for 6 years at the minimum. We love being together, but the inevitable is going to happen. So, I wonder, should I break it up now and have the melding process happen sooner and before more feelings come, or should I wait until then and enjoy the moments I have now knowing I will be hurt later?:confused:
     
  2. Argentwing

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    Depends on whether or not you want to wait for him. Is he worth the sacrifice to have years from now, or do you need somebody sooner rather than later?
     
  3. StephenSC

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    For most people my primary thought would be that if this person really was special (the one), you'd find a way to wait for them. Though it would be an extremely difficult thing, something you'd both need time to discuss at length and agree on... (chances are there would need to be some "open relationship" flexibility, as well as complete honesty and openness) I think in most cases, with most people, it wouldn't work anyway. Time and distance are tough things to overcome in any relationship.

    That being said, the fact that you are questioning if you should end it "now or then" makes me think you've already considered opinions and decided to make this choice.


    My personal advice, talk to him honestly about it sooner rather then later. This is thinking of it from his perspective, doing it sooner will give him time to clear his head and start moving on before needing to ship out. I think dropping it on him right before he leaves would only make things more difficult for him. I also think that you knowing where your relationship is going will really limit your own ability to enjoy it to it's fullest anyway.

    Good luck with it, it's a shame that it's come to that, but I do think your making the right (impossible) choice given the situation. I wish you (both) all the best.
     
  4. sublimeprincess

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    Wow, JassonSC, I so appreciate you saying that. The thing is I'm undecided about how I feel for him. Is it possible that him leaving before I think it's time for him to leave makes me believe I love him more than I really do? But yeah, I don't think a long-distance relationship would work.

    And you're right. I have considered, and I want to just be rid of these feelings and just break up with him. But what is going to happen is I'm going to wait it out, and stay with him until we're forced to separated.Also, we have talked about it, and since we're both young and don't want to settle down we know we're going to have to split. I so appreciate your advice though :slight_smile: