I'm not my "type"

Get out of my head!

Seriously though, I have always viewed myself as pretty average. I have the build, but I am not ripped. And I have extremely low self-esteem primarily because a lot of the guys in my high school were gorgeous, and then to go to college and surround myself with the frat-boy lacrosse type? Well it was hell.

I wouldn't want to hook up with someone like me physically, but in some ways I try to find someone who is like my personality. But like you said, there's someone out there for everyone, so someone must be looking for an average guy like myself.

I don't know if that prevents me from meeting guys, but it certainly shows a block in the romantic area of my life.

 

Pretty much how I feel. I'm a little chubby, not very attractive. I wouldn't sleep with someone who looked like me and I don't look for guys because of this. Not sure what to say other than that you're not alone.

 

When I was in college, I had a supervisor who pretty much fit all the things you say you are attracted to. He wasn't all that athletic, but being tall (over 6 FT) and skinny, he didn't need to be. He was my mentor thru my coming out process and remains a friend to this day.

His partner of 13yrs was short, round (300lbs + I believe), and quite hairy (I was given to understand). My friend was very much into that kind of guy and loved his partner dearly, until the day he passed due to an unexpected and virulent illness.

Different people have different types and there is almost certainly a subset of guys who are your type who will very much consider you theirs. Along with a subset of guys who don't care about physical attributes as much as personality and 'connection' and another subset who have sufficiently broad tastes as to find you attractive even if they also find other kinds of guys attractive as well. Probably others to, but you get the idea.

Be confident in yourself, put yourself out there, and be an all around nice guy and you may be surprised at how full your dance card becomes.

Hope this helps,

Todd

 

Someone said that comparing yourself to other people is a form of violence, I don’t know about that, though I feel better since I stopped doing it

I used to compare myself to guys I’d find attractive, and I stopped doing that because the whole point of being with someone is to bring something NEW to your life, to challenge you in a good way, and to make you grow.

Someone should like you for who YOU are exactly right now, not some billboard should-be model/prototype. (I would want someone who's different than me in any case

I’d like to think that people get together because they are complement each other in some way, not because each person is (aesthetically or intellectually) self-sufficient

 

You've probably described how many people feel about themselves to a greater or lesser extent. You may not be your type, but I'm sure you're someone's type.

Does "type" really matter that much? It's quite common for people to end up with someone who is nothing like their "type" yet are really happy. Personality is what matters.

 

I wouldn't say I'm my own type either, but I'm working on becoming what I'd physically like in a partner. I don't know if that is shallow, but I'm also doing it just to better myself as well. There are plenty of people that like us however we are now, but you need to be happy with yourself as well.

 

Would you want to date yourself, though? I don't hate myself, but I already know my body and my likes and dislikes. I don't need the same thing in a guy. Opposites attract rings true here.

Don't be so hard on yourself. I'm not the exact kind of guy I'd want to be with. That's just my feelings on the whole thing....

 

I know exactly how you feel. I have felt inspired recently to turn my life around and I believe it requires both a desire and a mental attitude adjustment. I will message you a couple of links to videos I found inspiring if that's ok?

At the end of the day, there will always be someone who finds you "their" type, even if you don't feel that you would find yourself attractive. Personality plays a major part as well I believe. Keep your chin up either way, I will try and do the same!

 

I am definitely not my type either, but I am still quite fond of the way I look. Consider your attractions to women; I'd imagine that what you would find appealing in her wouldn't be very similar to your own appearance either. Don't look in the mirror attempting to find attraction or sex appeal, strive to find satisfaction. I am pleased with my appearance because, aesthetically, I feel that my appearance suits me well. Likewise with Lance, when I notice something that I feel doesn't suit me well, I make efforts to improve it.

Find satisfaction in yourself and your own appearance and, no matter who that individual is, there will be someone who will find satisfaction with it no less.

 

Don't worry, it's normal to fancy people who have something a little different from what you have

 

I kinda feel bad because the people who end up attracted to me aren't my type at all. And I'm always attracted to straight people. Even all the short-haired women that I've crushed on have been straight, so it's been quite a problem for me.

I don't let it hurt me too much, though. Being rejected by a straight girl is the same as being rejected by a straight guy--nothing's changed--they've just said no--again. :/

 

Opposites attract each other. :icon_wink

 

I'm not my type either, even though I am attractive. Even so, I criticize myself very harshly, I really want to stop doing that but I do it without even thinking about it.