Hey Y'all how's it going? So after four years of being single, I am now I a relationship. But I'm not sure how open my Boyfriend is, Say if he was open there would be no problem because I'm open like a book But say he's not... Should I let him do want he wants and live with it, or should I encourage (Gently) to express himself? I dunno any advice is appreciated, thanks! :icon_bigg
I would give him the time he needs. The two of you are still very young and coming out isn't a smooth process for everyone. He'll still need to find enough comfort to share it with friends and family, especially if he could possibly be dealing with close or distant family that is non-accepting. If he was an independent adult that would be a bit different, but still being in his dependent, younger years, being completely open might not be as enjoyable of an experience as it has seemed to be for you. Everyone's circumstances can vary.
Before I begin...you lucky bastard. Other than that go with the flow. The Wonderful Advice Of William
He definitely needs time to come out if he isn't ready. At the same time, you deserve, if you're fully out, to not be "invisible", and one of the issues where one member of a couple is out and the other isn't, is, over time, the "out" one ends up feeling devalued or invisible because s/he can't be introduced to friends or family and so ends up having to literally or figuratively hide. This impacts self-esteem in the long term. But really, it's something to have a conversation about. If he's willing to work on it and set a goal for coming out, and the timeframe meets your needs, then all is good. If he has no interest then... eventually, that's going to be really damaging to your self esteem. But my guess is, once he's been in a relationship for a while, he'll tire of keeping it a secret and then will be ready to take steps to move things forward.
Ha...I'm not so lucky he didn't like how open I was so I dumped until he could feel better about it...:3
