Well im not out. Im deep in the closet. Everytime i google something that has a gay person or even questions I get very paranoid.(I sometimes watch popular youtubers who are publicly out, my mother sometimes comments on the way they talk or dress and ask's "Is he gay? o-o" and im like yeah , so? ) I always think my parents are going to see my search history and find out im Bi :eusa_doh: ( I only use this site at night when they are sleeping :icon_redf) I ALWAYS delete my search history because im scared they might find something , and im also scared that I'll accidentaly post something on FB or send something by email and everyone will find out :bang: ( Yes my laptop is locked but they think i have porn or something since i dont let them use my user account ._. ) Did anyone go through this? how do i get over these thoughts/fears :eusa_doh: Thank you for reading
It is simple: most browsers offer private browsing where your search/web history isn't recorded. Chrome has "incognito" for example, where no search history, websites visited, are visible once you close the window. what browser are you using?
I used private browsing all the time when I wasn't out to my sister. When I came out to her, I stopped using it. I started again when I found my mom using my computer because hers was down or whatever. Private browsing is a neat invention.
Sounds like "internalised homophobia" - very very common. Have you heard of it ?? You can kick its ass with some work, by yourself or support from a counsellor/ therapist. Once you recognise the traits, you may be able to work it out yourself without a therapist from the web: "internalised homophobia" is basically conscious/unconscious behaviors which a person feels the need to conform to cultural expectations of heterosexuals. This can include extreme repression and denial coupled with forced outward displays of 'normal' [straight] behavior for the purpose of appearing or attempting to feel "normal" or "accepted".
I'm kind of the opposite. I hide a lot of things, I'm incredibly paranoid, but my attitude to this site is surprisingly relaxed. It's almost as if I want somebody to find this because then it takes away the pressure of coming out.
Hahaha i forgot about the incognito window's , i never really use them but ill start using them now XD
