Hi my name is Sam. I came out about June of 2012 and I have been happy as ever since then. I my sister, mom, and brother know I'm gay and so do all my friends. I have yet to tell my dad. It is my senior year now in college and about to take my fall finals. I was a collegiate swimmer for 3 years of my collee years. Things were going so well! Until now. I think there is something wrong with me. Emotionally, mentally, physically yu name it. Recently in January of 2013 I found o my Parents were getting a divorce. I tried to hide My emOtions but I feel like they are catching up to me. This Past august I did something stupid, I was drunk driving and got a DUI. Since then, I was kicked off the swim team which was a lifestyle fOr me and now I'm suffering from it. I think I maybe severely depressed. It felt like swimming was all I had. On top of that my parents are planning on finalizing their divorce soon. I feel miserable. I was prescribed adderall because I thought it was a concentration issue and now I'm diagnosed with ADD. I just started to get anxiety issues now, I can't concentrate at school. My hides are suffering . I'm am lazy an miss/ skip myclasses because I'm too tired or I just don't have the energy or the encouragement to go. Every time I'm sitting alone I'm always think about my parents and me getting kicked off the team, even suicide sometimes. The thoughts of suicide scared me, but I know I will never try it...hopefully. I'm always depressed and never want todo anything anymore. Should I seek mental help? I feel like I am an embarrassment and have nothing to live for. What is wrong with me? Please help.I feel miserable. I feel like my life is ruined and I'm just a waste of space. There is somehow wron with me mentally. I jut know it. ---------- Post added 10th Dec 2013 at 12:54 AM ---------- I think I really might be suffering from sever depression. My thoughts about everything just keep getting worse and worse as days go by. On top of that, because my grades are suffering because of this attitude, I just want to quit at life and drop out.
Hi Sam and thanks for reaching out. It's a good, supportive crowd here. It sounds like you would really gain a lot from seeing someone about your depression. While you might feel embarrassed, there is nothing to be embarrassed for - sometimes people just hit a rough patch in life. It takes work to get out of that dark place, but I assure you, a better life is never out of reach.
Do you think it'd be possible to look into seeing a therapist? With depression, I think it's key to be communicating how you feel with someone who's able to handle it in a proper manner. Usually, that'd be a therapist or counsellor. If you have any school-related issues, it'd probably be best to address them with the teacher in question through email or in-person. If you were still in high school, I'd have recommended seeing a school counsellor or head-of-grade or student-teacher liaison or something similar, as well as seeing a regular therapist. While that's still an option, the school counsellor may not be able to have as much influence over the college teachers (I'm uncertain about this part, but do know that it's relatively easier than people think to get assistance in high school, at least). While it is not the same, do you think swimming as a pastime could be helpful? I'm not sure whether it's the swimming or the competitiveness of it that you enjoy (Or both), but having activities and hobbies in place in your free time is very helpful. Many people can find that their moods will go down when alone for too long with only themselves as company. Otherwise, maybe (I'm not certain) there are swimming teams outside of your college that you could look into joining. I've found that it helps to experiment and see with what personally works, as everyone's different. Some people are better off with more interactions with people, while others don't need as much. Trying out new things and hobbies, like cooking or reading or other sports or activities, and/or going out sometimes, even if it's just by yourself, can be all helpful. Eventually, you should be able to find some things that work for keeping your mood decent enough. Seeking help from a professional is never a bad idea. It's possible that medication will help you, but I think only a doctor would be able to ascertain that. Certainly, though, I think therapy could be very helpful for you. Also, feel free to PM me or another staff member back if you'd like to discuss this further in a one-on-one manner, and feel free to continue to post in this thread or in other ones, as well.
Thank you guys for the quick reply back. I guess I just didn't know where to start. This has greatly helped me and I guess we just have to wait and see the outcome of seeing someone. Thanks again guys!
