I've come to the realization that I need to get back into therapy. I haven't been regularly in about four years, but I think it's time. Since fully accepting my sexual orientation over the summer and then coming out to a few people this fall, I can truly say I'm in a better place than I've ever been. School has also been going well, and I've got a great group of friends in my grad program as well as from my high school and college days. And finding EC has been one of the best things that I've ever done. Seriously y'all are amazing and I sometimes want to pinch myself to make sure this isn't some kind of dreamland. But this has come with a bit of a price. After I finally became ok with myself, the question is "now what?" There's a lot that I can now explore: sex, dating, crushes, being out more publicly, feeling attracted and attractive. It's a lot of new ground for me to break, and I'm scared. My confidence and emotions and self-esteem are bouncing all over the place, and it's taking a toll on my ability to focus on school and all the other things I need to do. So I'm going to get back into therapy as soon as I get back to Kentucky from my winter holidays on the West Coast because I want guidance in taking the next steps toward being the best person I can be. The fact that I can even talk to a therapist about wanting to explore my sexuality means I've accepted it and shows how unbelievably far I've come. I'm posting this publicly for three reasons. One, because I've got a lot in my head and writing it down in general helps me get my thoughts in order, and there's no better place to write in than the place that's been such a source of support and strength for me over the last couple months. Two, posting it publicly makes it seem more official, and seeing it will remind me that I will need to follow through on it. And three, I hope that by reading this (assuming y'all haven't gotten bored by now) maybe I can give someone a little encouragement to do the same. If you go to therapy, you're not weak and you're not crazy. Weakness is not putting in the hard work to make yourself better, and crazy is denying that you can get better. That's all. Thanks to everyone on here for listening and for helping me realize some things about myself.
Therapy will definitely benefit you. Talking about feelings and thoughts are always a good way of dealing with it and sorting things out for yourself. You've come very far, and things can only get better from here on. Being publicly out will definitely take a lot of weight off your shoulders and will boost your self confidence too. Good luck in your endeavors, and well done for coming this far (*hug*)
Hey biwinning, congratulations on all the progress you've made so far. I too have had some similar accomplishments over the last year, although I've been slow to transform myself into the more positive and self-accepting person I want to be. I'm glad you find EC a great resource. I am new here and I am finding it pretty positive as well. A lot of the old assumptions I've made about gay people have been coming down as I was previously deathly afraid of admitting to myself that I was gay. But I'm finding it a lot less scary these days. Therapy is useful, for sure... I have had some experience with this as well. I have also found it hard, though, to find the right therapist. I have found, for example, that male therapists work better for me. I find myself having more common ground with them. To each their own though. And I totally agree that it's not crazy to seek help to make yourself better, it's crazy NOT too.
Thanks a lot! And I'm glad to hear things are getting better for you and that EC is turning into as good a place for you as it's been for me.
if it's not a financial issue, therapy will help anyone in any position. maybe try a couple weeks just going out and being social, and if you feel you still want/need it, then going to therapy?
I've been social and my friends have been an awesome source of support for me. Luckily for me, I'm in graduate school and the university counseling center is free for students. So finances aren't an issue.
This is some good advice. I agree that going to therapy is not an indication of being 'weak' if anything it takes courage to admit that you need to talk to someone. I just recently have become accepting of my sexuality and started seeing a therapist. She has helped me through the first steps of coming out and being more public with who I am. I've never been a depressed person, or needed therapy in the 'traditional' sense. I just needed someone to talk to about what was going on. I sought out someone who mentioned on their profile that she deals with LBGT issues. I didn't have the support structure that I needed to deal with these issues, so I used her to be it for a short time. I've only been seeing her for a short time and have came out to multiple people, including my parents. I think its always a wise idea to talk to someone if you need it! Hope it goes well.
Just made an appointment at my school's counseling center. Unfortunately, the person who had previously been the therapist there specializing in LGBT issues has gone into private practice. So I just went with the first opening at a time that was convenient for me. Unfortunately that's not for another couple weeks. Hopefully things don't get worse before then because they're pretty crappy right now.
Is there a cap on number of visits? We had a cap of 3 visits in grad school. I didn't investigate further, but I'm sure that a serious condition or situation would allow for lengthening the therapeutic relationship. I hope you get a good one. Someone who works with students should be empathetic, having been in grad school themselves. I used my 3 visits. The first 2 were with a lesbian, who told a female classmate of mine that 'she didn't want to continue therapy with her because she might become attached with her.' Just wow. My friend had a very sweet personality and was very petite. This therapist has left the occupation, in 16 years, per some basic looking. With me, she winced when I made a negative comment about a woman who had irritated me. She shouldn't have male clients, then. So, I switched for visit 3, which was all pointless anyway. The psychiatrist, an MD, started inserting subtle comments about Jesus. WTF. This was a major research and respected university. My school work kept me so busy that I opted to just do without and not push for more sessions, but I actually landed on a good sliding scale therapist when I graduated and moved to another area. I see your status. Hang in there. We're here!
I don't think there's a cap on the number of visits, thankfully. If this person's not good, I'll look into seeing the person who'd left outside of campus. I really do need something to work, and soon. I'm just in a really crappy place right now where I feel completely stuck and overwhelmed dealing with the "ok I'm out, now what?" questions, and it's affecting my ability to get my schoolwork and other things done.
