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Oh Lawd, not sure what to do.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by RobStarkers, Dec 11, 2013.

  1. RobStarkers

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    Hi all.

    You've probably heard this before but I'd like some input if possible, btw hopefully I don't say anything offensive.

    I've always considered myself straight, but then on occasion I have been attracted to guys and fantasized about being with a guy. So maybe I'm bisexual, I'm not sure (I'll get to why).

    I love women to bits, sometimes I feel like I like them too much, I get attached really quickly and find I can only ever go for women that are really physically attractive. So it possibly doesn't come as a surprise that I don't have much luck with women, I'm also painfully shy and self concious when it comes to the fairer sex.

    Anyway, every so often I have a phase where I really want to be with a guy... just for sex though, I don't feel emotionally attached to guys the same way as with women.

    And it's also only older guys, meaning like 60-80, which is probably odd... possibly with Freudian meaning somewhere.

    Anyway, lately I'm thinking of hooking up with some guy... you know, get to know them and then most likely have sex.

    I'm not sure whether to take this leap though, I'm in two minds whether or not I'll regret it hugely and end up making a massive mistake. On the other had maybe I should go for it as I could enjoy it or at least get it out of my system.

    Basically I'm a hot mess and really confused sexually. Growing up in a homophobic environment probably hasn't helped my attitude towards gay sex, so maybe it's just fear keeping me back.

    What do you think, take the plunge? Wait a bit longer? Or forget it entirely... and maybe see a psychiatrist :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  2. The Mushroom

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    If I was in that situation I'd wait a bit longer. If you still felt this was after a while you could try being with a guy. Just seeing what feels right for you is tge most important thing!
     
  3. BookDragon

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    You wouldn't be the first person to ask this question and you won't be the last...

    You can sit here for ages and go into the psychological reasons for it, knowing full well that neither you or I have the qualifications to make any sort of judgement call. I can sit here and say you might go for older men because you have bad luck with women and you feel an older man represents both a complete opposite to where you have failed but also the 'friendly' and 'experienced' sexual guide you long for, but I'm pulling it out of my arse based on pop-psychology and guess work!

    I mean frankly, there isn't anything WRONG with wanting to just meet a guy for sex, even if they are wicked old, but whether you should do it or not really depends on your attitude towards sex. If you're like me and would only want to have sex with someone you care about, or at least can see a relationship with, then it's not going to be good. On the other hand if you have no problems with hookups then why not go for it? You might not enjoy it, but if you don't it's just one thing you did you don't need to do again...and if you DO enjoy it, great...
     
  4. StephenSC

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    Chances are your just a little curious, rather than Bi, as you've said you make no emotional connection to guys, plus the age thing. Though I don't know.


    I'm sort of old-school in terms of not getting into the idea of sex for the sake of sex. (Likely why I'm a virgin at 26...) I'd for that reason suggest wait awhile and see if you can find a guy you have at least of some type of connection with.

    If you can't find someone, or really want to just explore the physical side of things, make sure you do so in a smart and safe manner. At least that way the chances of extreme regret will be lessened. Nothing would sour your opinion more then a mistake.
     
  5. RobStarkers

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    Thanks for the advice guys, you've been really cool.