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Gay club experience

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by lssl, Dec 14, 2013.

  1. lssl

    lssl Guest

    I went to my first gay club a few weeks ago with a friend. It was a really wonderful experience. I've carried around so much shame with me instilled in me by my parents through homophobic comments while I was growing up and ultimately in a really traumatic experience in conversion therapy. I'm on the other side, no longer living with them, and trying to be myself instead of what I think they want for me.

    As I said before, it was really great. I ended up dancing with a couple guys there and ultimately making out with one of them for a while. I felt on top of the world afterwards and I want to go back. I feel like it's a great place for me to combat the shame I feel around my sexuality in a less serious environment and my therapist seems to agree as long as I balance it with other activities in the LGBT community. The two problems I'm facing going back are fear of rejection and feeling nervous going alone for the first time.

    The first problem I realize might just be a matter of sucking it up and dealing with the fact that everyone is rejected at least once during their lives. I'm just very self-conscious about not having a lot of sexual experience and I'm afraid that I might not feel comfortable going back if I had a bad experience there. Does anyone have any advice?

    The second problem is pretty common from what I've seen on the forums. Most people worry about going alone for the first time. Do people who have done this feel that it was a good move to go alone? Was it nerve-wracking? I don't feel like I'm going in blind but it's definitely a new experience and any advice on this would be great too.
     
  2. LilJazmyn

    Regular Member

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    I have not been to a gay club--yet. But I do have some advice. First, you should remember why you are going there in the first place. You should only go because you want to and no for other people. Perhaps it will take you visiting the place several times before you feel at home there. and if not, perhaps try to shop around for other gay clubs. Sometimes it depends on the environment of the place that may or may not make it feel welcoming for you.

    I hope i helped :3
     
  3. Mzansi

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    Have fun,
    Leave when you feel like it,
    Dance cause you're doing it for yourself :slight_smile:

    You're going to have a great time if you do it for yourself,
    And you're making sure it's fun for you first and foremost!

    Just be aware that sexual things happen there,
    Grinding,
    Groping and even the occasional smack on the ass,
    But such is usual for any club,
    Otherwise it's all good!

    :grin:
     
  4. AKTodd

    Full Member

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    As others have said, go with the idea that you will have a good time dancing (alone or not) or chatting with folks, not that you need to meet or make out/hook up with someone there to have a good time. Having fun whether you meet anyone or not is the goal. If you do meet someone you like, that's just bonus.

    Todd
     
  5. ninerw

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    I'm totally not a club person, but I went to my first gay club/bar recently and had the best time ever. It felt good to just be free of the fear. And a lot of the guys were very easy on the eyes!

    I'd say keep getting used to the world around you. If you find someone and connect with them, great. If you just find friends, at least you have friends! The best thing I can say is be yourself and trust your instincts. If it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't.

    Have fun!