Hi! So...every single night im feeling terrible! All day long im feeling ok but when thedarkness fall ....most usually before sleep........i beggin thinking about some things and I am felling awful.im thinkin that I will die alone, that I will never change, Iim thinking what could happen if I was a normal person if I was straight if I was the other gender if I had friends if I was famous if I have somebody to love if I was not living in that homophobic place if I was confident if I havent social anxiety disorder, if I wasnt hairy , if I was beautiful (I know that my english sucks).and I cant sleep because im thinking of that! What can I do to relax? Is it normal?
Markosss, I think you might be surprised to hear that pretty much everyone asks themselves 'what if...?' questions. In fact, I certainly have and I often think similar things. Actually, I think them almost every day. But it is tough. If you're having a hard time coping, I'd suggest seeing a counsellor or therapist. If you are already doing that, then really well done. If you're not, then maybe it's worth thinking about. Always bear in mind that, whatever the problems in your life, you can do something about them. No matter how big your problems may seem, there could be something you can do to make you feel better about yourself. If you don't want to be hairy, have you tried shaving or waxing at all? If you have gender dysphoria at all (it sounds like you might have but I don't want to assume anything), then perhaps you could try experimenting with wearing clothes of the opposite gender in the privacy of your own bedroom. You sound like you're feeling pretty lonely too. I know it's really hard to do but maybe you could try to meet new people through a community group or something like that. I hope this helps you. Just keep going and eventually things will get better (*hug*)
There is a pretty good definition on this website: Gender dysphoria - NHS Choices Gender dysphoria is basically when someone believes that the gender they were assigned at birth does not match their actual gender. This is common in the transgender community, mostly for transsexuals.
I know how u feel I have social anxiety every night and I get sad at night worrying ill die alone too believe me for sure u r not alone u may think u r but plenty of people feel this way
