In February a guy in my school came out to me. I hadn't really known him before, but we started talking a lot after I found out. This was all done online, and we rarely speak in person to this day. We are still speaking to this day, but I only see him as a friend. He has told me on many occasions that he likes me. A few weeks ago we were discussing our loneliness, when he suggested we get together. I decided to just do it and not live with any regrets. So a few days after I said yes, I went over to his house and we got to it. We met(shifted, French kissed, made out) and also gave each other head. I enjoyed the experience, although I don't find him attractive. The next day we spoke about it on facebook and he said he'd love to do it again, and that he really likes me now. He mentioned a relationship in the future and hopes we might go out. But I don't like him in that way. I'd consider doing it again out of sexual desperation but I feel like I'm using him. I said this, and he told me that it doesn't bother him, he will enjoy it anyway. I'm conflicted about what to do. I don't like him and I doubt I ever will. But the temptation to hook up with him is there and I feel wrong about doing it again.. Can anyone please offer some advice? Thank you in advance.
If you were both seeing it as just a FWB or f**kbuddy type thing and both of you were ok with that, I'd probably say just go with it. However, you've already indicated that he doesn't just see it that way and that you are feeling bad about it. As such, I think you need to keep it purely non-physical moving forward. He may be thinking that you will come to share his feelings eventually, and that might even happen. But you don't feel that way now and the more you continue this, the more he will be hurt when it finally becomes clear you can't return his affections. And the more you will feel bad about it. Try to continue to be a source of support since that's probably a good thing for both of you. But unless you find yourself starting to develop genuine feelings for him, I'd suggest you limit yourself to solo sexual activities moving forward. My 2c worth, Todd
Thanks for that, and I see what you're saying. In my nine months of talking to him I have not developed any feelings for him, and most likely there never will be. I should just tell him this and do what you advised.
