I've been feeling a lot down lately. My problem is, I am a very emotional person. I cannot control my emotions no matter how hard I try. Over the past couple years I have become really good at covering them up and not allowing anyone to really know what I'm feeling. But as soon as I'm in a bad place and on my own, I tend to break down. I feel like I am constantly chasing something that is getting further and further away from me. I am in love with my best friend. She know this. She also claims to have feelings for me. Once describing us as 'soul mates'. However she is not ready to commit to being with me at the moment. I often think to myself well if we are soul mates then surely you wouldn't want to be with anyone else as this is how I feel. All this aside, we are best friends. We do things together what your average best friends do except we are not your average best friends. I constantly feel like it's me making the effort and I am not getting anything back. This is creating extra stress for me which I have to deal with by myself and hide from my best friend, family and other friends as I keep my emotions under wraps. I feel like this is putting strain on out relationship and therefore is causing us to drift apart which is the last thing I want to happen! I've finally realised, you can only fight for things you want to an extent. Because at the end of the day, fate is always going to take over. I am a great believer in fait. I wish I could sit back and not fight as I do believe in this but it's impossible for me to do so. I need some sort of guidance.
