hello - I have sexual attraction to males - but I think its wrong - I know it is right - but unconsciously i think its wrong. I dont know how to chance that feeling - its very strong within me. if you have any advice or have experiences like this, please comment
To change it, you need to understand it. To understand it, we need to know WHY you think it's wrong. Where did this idea come from? What does 'wrong' mean to you? How does 'wrong' apply to homosexuality?
Agreed. If you can name the reasons why you feel it's wrong, it's possible to formulate counter arguments to knock down those reasons or demonstrate that they are incorrect or baseless. Please share your thoughts on this and we can help you work through it. Todd
Well, what exactly makes it wrong? Because of an old book written by ancient people? How exactly does being attracted to the same gender determine one's morality? The choices we make, whether to help or hurt people, that determines whether we are "right" or "wrong," not who we are. Because saying I think being gay is wrong is like me saying I think being white is wrong, I hate myself because I'm white. Being gay isn't an easy life. Some people just really can not fathom or understand why some men or women are attracted to their own gender. To them it's not how the world is suppose to work: men like women, women like me, that's how it suppose to be, right? That's a very black and white view, a very, unnatural view, as as Hank Green often said the most natural thing in the world is shades of grey, not this black and white view. Love yourself. That's how you change it. When you are alone, like your parents aren't home from work or something, look hard into your bathroom mirror and look at yourself. And when the person in the mirror looks back, are you really going to think they are a horrid, evil, "wrong" person, simply because they fall in love with men? This is the one life you live. You can spend it hating yourself for who you are, or realizing you're never going to please everybody no matter what you do, so live your life for yourself. LOVE is a blessing. And if you end up falling in love with a girl, wonderful. It means you found another soul whiling to share their life with you. If you end up falling in love with a boy, again, you were lucky enough to find another soul whiling to love you. ) THAT is beautiful. THAT is natural. THAT is what is right in this world.
I have the same feeling actually. I don't "think" it's wrong; quite the contrary I think and know it to be fine. But it "feels" strange. I think it's only because it's still such unfamiliar and inhospitable territory. The longer I accept it, the more normal and natural it feels.
Wrong and right are just human constructs that depend on the individual's circumstances and what they choose to believe. In general, most people who think homosexuality is wrong reason that it's somehow not natural like heterosexuality. In a simple sense, yes, it is definitely different and maybe strange, but to say it is wrong is to say that one person's love/attraction for another is okay solely based on their gender. Moreover, if people claimed that sex should be about procreation, why do so many heterosexuals choose birth control and condoms if not to have the benefits of sex without the "naturally-determined" consequences? The only way I accepted my sexuality was realizing it was never going away, no matter how hard I tried to focus on what society says a guy should be attracted to [in women]. Since I could not change, I needed to accept that my attraction for men is okay. For a long time, I thought I would take the difficult path of celibacy while accepting my sexuality, but I later realized that for me denial of something as important as intimate contact just because of who I love is fundamentally unfair.
Thankfully, everyone follows their own code of ethics that is tailored to their own unique individualism. For that very reason, the difficulty of accepting your interpretation of who you are is your path to walk, and yours alone. There are effective suggestions above; understanding the challenges by analyzing the root and reasoning behind them. Time to exercise your evaluation skills! Personally, I want to remind you that love is blind. It comes in all shapes in forms.
