I'm not really fully asexual. That is to say, I'm romantically attracted to males and females, but am not now nor will I ever be sexually attracted to anyone. I'm just not capable of feeling that kind of thing. The idea of sex just is not appealing. Never has been and never will be. To me, sex has absolutely nothing to do with romance. Like...you can call it 'making love' all you want, it's still just sex. Something that makes me unreasonably angry is when people don't respect that. That is to say, they think I'll grow out of it, will feel different when I meet "the right person," (I believe I have found the right person. I'll still never want to sleep with him or anyone) outright don't believe me, etc. Anyone else have something like this? How do you deal with it?? Or how do you explain it to people? I just end up getting really angry with the person and frustrated that I can't explain it. (Same thing with my not ever wanting kids. People are like "Awwww you'll change your mind XD" No I won't...It's my choice and my life, not yours...but that's not really the point.)
I have been through similar things when I try to explain to people that I am Demisexual, which is where I experience sexual attraction, but only after an emotional connection is established. I get, you just haven't found the right person, there is just no one attractive in your area, maybe its your hormones, demisexuals do not exist and drop the labels you look like an idiot. I have tried to explain that need the emotional connection first and some are okay with it, others aren't. I have explained that is not something that I choose, but it is how I am made. Anyone I have talked to in person has been respectful and have let me explained, even if they do not complete understand, or see why I do not experience sexual attraction. It also been confused with celibacy, but for me it is not. I do not want to celibate, so this makes things slightly complicated. I have, however, found people on the internet to me not so responsive. I have been called an idiot, special snowflake, a person who has been skewed by the evils of tumblr, and been told that what feel does not exist and I am just seeking attention. I even have been involved in a two-hour facebook argument about how asexuals really do exists and we are not special snowflakes, and should have to face erasure. Mind you this took place during asexual week.
I am finding the older I am the more I see this in absolutely everything - people are one of a few things very selfish and only want you to be exactly like them so invalidate whatever is not like them - i.e if they are binary they don't respect non-binary gender - however the revers happens - same with straight/gay not respecting Bisexuals - however many Bi's want everyone to be Bi - this should just be a matter of education, but we really should as our own group learn to celebrate our differences ads we are the rainbow another possibility is pure ignorance - simply being unaware of the existance of what you are experiencing - this is also just a matter of education. and for many people - and this is becoming far more common in our society as we actually encourage this today - a complete lack of empathy (this is a foreign concept to many and differs from sympathy) - this requires a societal fix and raising children better for many, if you are not going to be in the relationship with the person invalidating who you are - walk off. I have people blocked on Facebook for just this reason, I have also left websites due to having such a poor amount of support. Anyone who can't accept you for who you are, you don't need in your life. especially invalidating you.
I don't get why people have to be so controlling about every thing. So you are asexual. So what? What does that have to do with them? I'm sorry that you've been treated as such. I know a lot of people though who actually respect asexual individuals, luckily. ---------- Post added 21st Dec 2013 at 08:21 PM ---------- As for this, I believe that one thing that can make people better is that we have the capability to think and be intelligent about our choices (if we want to). So, you may have some primitive impulse which is selfish and damaging to others...upon reflection you may realize this and modify your behavior for the common good. This is reserved to the people though who want to use their intelligence to make the world a better place.
I'm not one of those people that says sex is evil and bad or whatever. I just am not interested in it. I'm an individualist and try as hard as I can to respect all of the viewpoints. It just bothers me when people can't do the same.
One of my friends is coming out as a heteroromantic asexual, and she's already experienced a little bit of this disrespect and prejudice. While she does make jokes about sex a lot (but then again, when you're in high school drama club, there are going to be sex jokes), she is only romantically attracted to guys. I don't see why that's so hard for people to comprehend, but she's been told by close friends that she'll change her mind later on. When that happened, she just told them that the idea of sex is disgusting to her, and it's not needed in order for her to be happy in life. It seemed to work, even if they didn't totally believe her. I really do wish people were more accepting when it comes to asexuality. It exists, what's so hard to comprehend about it? The hate is something I just don't understand.
