There's a guy in my life who I have a massive crush on. We go to the same swimming practice. At first I didn't suspect he was gay, but after being around him for a long time I started to realize that he very well may be. He would stare at me a lot but look away when I catch him looking, and he would always act so happy when we would talk and just look unbelievably cute. We honestly had a chemistry unlike anything I have ever felt in my life. In the beginning I felt uncomfortable talking to him because I was attracted to him and didn't want to crush on another man, but lately I've just stopped caring about hiding my sexuality. So I tried to be more open, talking to other guys than my crush (he often talks to other guys as well, I figured I might do the same), and even brought a male friend to swim with me. Since then, my crush has acted completely different. He rarely looks my way, and when I see him he looks pissed instead of happy. I'm too shy to approach him and ask how he feels as he's usually the one to start a conversation. But now he's acting so different. I just feel horrible. I don't know if I made him feel jealous when talking to other guys. It's not as if I was actually flirting with the other guys, but maybe he misunderstood? There's no one else I would rather be with. I don't know if I should try to give up on him? I really don't know him that well, I only see him occasionally. And I don't feel comfortable talking with him when he's acting so cold. I was happy about the holidays coming up, but now he's all I think about and I only feel depressed over potentially losing my soulmate... I just don't know what to do. :icon_sad:
do you have his number or facebook or any messenger? don't send him loads of messages just send him one saying something like 'hi how are you? just wishing you happy holidays' or something like that then see where the conversation goes from there. if he answers short he is probably avoiding you, if he replies to the first question then at least he is either polite/comfortable and/or wants to talk to you. sorry if this doesn't help, my crush is still in the 'looking and looking away' stage if you know what i mean? XD it's the first time i've actually seen it in person and you are right it is so cute! sorry if i am not very helpful
Hm. Is it possible that he thought your friend you went swimming with is your boyfriend? He might either be jealous or think you were cheating on your 'boyfriend' when you were having chemistry with him. I know it's not your preferred course of action, but if you want to address this you may have to just walk up to him and ask him what's wrong. It could be something totally different is bothering him. Although if that was it you'd think he'd also be cold toward the other people there, which I get the sense he's not. You can keep tapdancing around the issue or just face it, really. Doesn't mean you need to come out and admit your feelings for him. But it sounds like you need to take some action to at least try to find out what's going on. If, while doing that, you can somehow communicate that your friend is only a friend, then that might also be a good thing. My 2c worth, Todd
Thanks for the advice. I don't have his number or facebook, unfortunately. It's not like me to just come up to him when he's acting like this. Honestly, I really thought we had something going. He was a major factor for me starting to reconsider my insecurities about my sexuality. I've never obsessed about someone like this before. But if he's willing to give up this easily, then I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe I'll meet someone else. :/ Right now I feel like I want to try to get over him, as difficult as that is for me to imagine. Although if he changes his mind, I definitely wouldn't be able to hold back my feelings.
