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Shattered more than I could ever imagine

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by jvn95, Dec 23, 2013.

  1. jvn95

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    Hey guys,

    The person I have been in love with for about 4 years told me he lost his virginity and whatnot.

    I've loved since the moment I layed my eyes on him... I would break a little each time he talked to me about another girl, and this just... Just cuts the cake. I am blank and my heart is pounding... I've spent so much energy and time on a feeling that doesn't reach. I feel like telling him I love him, and now I don't want to talk to him again.

    But that's not fair to him, I'm his best friend and he loves me.

    But My heart is so broken all the time since I met him I can't seem to actually go find a date because I am so stuck on him. So stuck on him it hurts to no end.

    What do I do? I am so sad and mad and I feel sick to my stomach.

    I feel like I got cheated on,

    in a relationship that never existed. How dumb is that. :icon_redf How unhealthy,

    How pathetic.

    I use really use some advice
     
  2. Aldrick

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    You're not pathetic or dumb. Stop beating yourself up over the way that you feel. You have no control over what you feel, only the way that you respond to it.

    So many people have been in your situation (myself included), that it's not even uncommon. It's not even something specific to gay people, as straight people have certainly found themselves in the same exact position. Having feelings for someone, not having those feelings reciprocated, and watching as they find happiness with someone else is always going to be painful.

    The question that we need to ask is what do we do about it?

    The best advice that can be given is to get some distance and separation. This is not always easy when it comes to a friend. How you navigate that would depend greatly on the type of friendship you have, and how much time you already spend with him.

    Next, you need to break out and meet other people. I know you probably don't feel like doing this, and probably don't want to do this - you need to force yourself to do it anyway. If these people happen to be LGBT themselves, so much the better. Now you have people you can connect with without hiding parts of yourself. However, even if they are straight people who share similar values and hobbies as you... that's great, too. Just having the ability to build new relationships and connections with other people is going to help you so much.

    Finally, it all comes down to time. As bad as things feel right now, as someone whose been there, even though it doesn't feel like it right now, you're going to get over this. Doing the two things above is going to speed up the process.

    Sorry, I don't have any other solutions aside from the above. So, at the very least stop being mean to yourself. (*hug*)
     
  3. Argentwing

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    Hugs are the only condolence. :frowning2: He had no way of knowing it would hurt you so. Not only that, but you say he talks about girls as if he's straight. That seems to be the most common lament of gay people everywhere.

    It's not pathetic to feel that way at all though. Whenever there's a one-sided attraction, the person with the strong feelings sees the object of their love "cheating" all over. It royally sucks. >.<
     
  4. jvn95

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    Thank for the advice.

    I really do need some gay friends. I only have one Bi friend really.

    I feel weepy and stuffed right now, I really am sad about this.

    Thank you guys, I'll get through.