How do I figure out who or what I want to be in life?

Forget sex and gender. Finding what you want out of life, hard work forleadsice house? Live in the woods? Be an artist? A chemist? A doctor?

That is some deep stuff that everyone struggles with. It took me 27 years to muster up the courage to join a karate club even though I wanted to all my life but never did. It took me 29 years to realize I hated research but wanted to do something else (I'm not revealing that).

Point is you don't have to know. Life is a journey. Who knows where it leads?

 

What are your interests, Tyrael? What do you like to do? What do you believe in? What do you care about? Perhaps start with those questions.

It took me until my early twenties to find my personal goals. I found them because of my interests and my beliefs. Now, I have the problem that I don't meet my goals because I am overambitious and bite off more than I can chew. Or, sometimes, I'm cynical and think--It's too difficult; why even try?

Good luck finding your goals!

 

I'm not a full member yet, so I can't receive messages, but if you like, let's be friends. I'd be glad to get updates of how you're getting on with expanding your interests, if that's no bother. I think it's great that you would like to have goals.

If you don't believe that the general public is worth caring about, then is there a certain population that you care about? For example, I care a lot about transgender individuals, because I'm one too, and as an artist and a writer, many of my goals pertain to learning how to express what it means to be trans.

Do you have friends who might help you develop goals? Sometimes, to develop and implement goals, it's much more fun to have other people involved. A woman I love really cares about feminism and "ugliness," and because we're such good friends, we have a joint project that is interested in sharing stories from contributors about their experiences with "ugliness." I get stressed out with the project, but knowing that my friend relies on me keeps me going.

It doesn't seem depressing that you don't care much about anything, to me at least. Because it does sound like you Do care, but that you've also been disillusioned. Perhaps being disillusioned is part of the journey of learning to care again, but in a different manner? I like your quote: "It's not until we've lost everything, that we are free to do anything." Seems like it really pertains to your quest right now.