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Crush on this guy in the closet!

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Danny87, Dec 25, 2013.

  1. Danny87

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    Ok, so I need some help here, because this guy is always on my mind! I'll try and put this in a nutshell. This guy started at my work place, didnt take much notice of him until I caught him staring at me one day. He has been doing this quite a bit, every time he walks passed my desk. We talked a few times just about work. One day I finally picked up the courage to asked him out for a drink (in the office break out area). It was awkward, he sort of half laughed and just said "Erm, I'm straight" I just said, oh shit man, I'm really sorry!" After that he walked off. This was Friday. I'm sort of out at work to a few people so I wasn't that bothered if anyone knew. But Monday I find out he told people that I asked him. Was a bit pissed off. After that I didn't see much of him at the end of my office. (He works down the other end). One of my closest friend found out about this and she was a bit pissed I didn't tell her, I wanted to keep it discreet because I thought this guy wouldn't want anyone to know.

    Moving on, it was awkward seeing him now and again, and he didn't make much eye conatct anymore. As time moved on, I noticed him staring a lot at me again, the eye conatct starting again. Now it's gotten to the point where he's comming back down my end going into my break out area. We always say hi to each other now when we walk passed one another. I've been deliberately running into him in the break out area. Trying to strike up conversations, they don't last long but I know he likes it as he continues to come back down again into the kitchen once more. He make excuses to come down my end and talks to people near me, while stealing glances at me.

    I've told my close friend about this, and even she has seen him staring at me as I'm working. So I know this isn't in my head!.

    I'm tired of these mind games, it's driving me crazy, I can't stop thinking about this guy. I've never wanted someone so much as him. I know his in the closet, and he will never come out at work, as his mum works in our same department and she is high up in our depart. This makes matters worse! I've been thinking, maybe talking to him again when were alone, and giving him my number. So we can talk discreetly without the interruptions of work and friends around.

    I really need help guys, I'm so lost and none of my straight friends help or just don't know what I should do! And yeah, this is effecting me so bad I'm making this post of Christmas Day! Even I'm slapping myself right now lol.

    Thanks for taking the time in reading this and any help and advice would be really appreciated!
     
  2. KyleD

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    I don't think there's much you can do about this situation tbh. The guy appears to be in denial that he is gay. The best you can do is just to exercise patience and do things to take your mind off of this situation as much as possible but for the most part it is out of your control.
     
  3. Gen

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    First, Welcome to EC!

    Secondly, I'm going to be frank. Not frank in the sense that things could never work out between you two, because that definitely isn't necessarily true. He could actually be into you; however, I feel that for the sake of your own heart and sanity, you can't continue obsess over him as you are. He may be into you. He may come out of the closet, but there is no telling how long that can take. We can encourage others, but we cannot force anyone to come out of the closet until they are ready to accept themselves.

    Not to mention, we really aren't certain what his sexuality is. Sometimes heterosexuals are 'interested' in homosexuals simply out of curiosity. When those curiosities are sated and they might find that it was not for them in the end, it won't be a fun position to be in.

    Ultimately, I am saying that there is a way that this can go well, but there is a surplus of was it could go poorly. You don't want to invest all of yourself into this guy with so many odds stacked against you.
     
  4. Danny87

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    Thanks for the fast responses peeps! :slight_smile: much love!. I know it's too much of an obsession. I've never fallen for a guy in the closet before. Everything about him just intrigues me. I'm terrible with patience, which lead to me asking him out for a drink after a few months of being around him. It's just so hard. I see this guy everyday! And he makes my heart beat like crazy.

    I don't want to force him out of anything! I'm happy for him to come out in his own time. Just wish he knew I would understand and keep it discreet. But people know I'm gay and he just wouldn't hang out with me in fear of people questioning it. Maybe I'll hold back on the whole giving my number to him. And instead just befriend him and let him know I'm there fot him if needs it.

    P.s Hope you'll having a lovely Christmas! :slight_smile: