Hey guys, First off, I wanna say I came out to my mom. She didn't care. I am really relieved, she was so cool about it. She did say she wouldn't it on anyone because she knows it is hard from all the gay friends she had. But I want legit advice about my Best Friend. I sound like a broken record but I don't know what to do, should I keep on being his friend of just cut this all out? I told him I loved him, and that I felt bad about it. He said to not feel bad and beat myself up, and that I couldn't help it. He thanked me and said "I love you and ill always be there for you forever bit I can't be there in that way. I've even thought about it too. When you first came out to me it made me question my sexuality for the longest time and I thought really hard about it and I tried to imagine it. I'm sorry." He said he knows how it feels to know someone doesn't like you back, and it must be hard because we are so close. "You're so brave for telling me and in no way will this affect our friendship negatively" I went on to say that it would because I can't even be next to him without wanting to cry and my heart was broken. And that I hated myself for this. He said "I feel as if we can be stronger and closer than ever now, If you're drowning, I'll be your life ring, I'm here for you." I finished by saying "I can't grab on anymore..." Wtf is happening, He STILL wants to be my friend, not only that I made him question himself and he thought about being with me???? :bang: AND he said he can be even closer friends now? I don't think so, It burns to be near him. So I translate this to "I'm sorry Let's just be friends, I know you love me and I thought about being with you, but no. But we can even be better friends now." .....No.... I'm not sure about that </3 You try and have your heart kicked around for years and then be shot down along with being told we can be closer. What the hell.
Love is a wonderful and terrible thing. Let him work it out. You already said your part. Time is the best medicine, but the side effects of waiting sucks I know.
You will be able to be his friend once you get over him The best thing to do is try to find someone else I know how much it hurts (I've been there) He's a very good friend. Give yourselves both some time. (*hug*)
OP, slow down. What do you want? For him to turn gay for you? He was super sweet, he offered you support. Stop hurting him by saying that you want to cry everytime he is near you. He seems to feel a special bond between you two, but he doesn't want to sleep with you.
I messaged him last night. I said sorry for not hanging out today like he wanted. He said it was okay and that he was going to be at the firestation today too and he was going to bed and that we should hang out soon. He said goodnight and that he loved me. (friend way I guess) .. I guess I'm just going to be his friend and try to get over this. I Know he is a one of a kind friend to have.. I hope I am doing the right thing Thank you for the replies
To come out to a friend with a love confession - and be greeted with that wonderful response!? Excellent - Be happy, be grateful - and know he's just not 'the one', but it sounds like a real friend!
I had a crush on my undergrad roommate for the two years we lived together. He came out two years after we graduated and I came out four years after. I was very supportive when he came out, and he's been a great friend to me as I've dealt with my own coming-out issues, and I can say now that I love him much more like a brother than anything else. Time definitely helped me get over him. Hope this helps.
You have friend that has not abandoned you, although it may feel that way. He simply cannot give you that one piece of himself that you want. It may be best to put some distance between the two of you for a short time until you can accept the facts of the matter. In a way, right now your reacting as if you were straight. Someone comes out to you, and your reaction is to not accept it. He can't change, however, in this case you can. Your feelings are your feelings. It doesn't take the hurt away, but your the one who has to grow if you want this relationship to survive. Your friend wants you in his life still. Don't reject him, because he's something he can't be. There are very few good friends you ever get; don't lose this one. Take some time, lick your wounds, and work on putting yourself in your friends shoes.(*hug*)
