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What would you do if you were me? The dynamic of my family has change

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by TyTy91, Jan 3, 2014.

  1. TyTy91

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    Alright so I made a thread about either staying with my sister or stay with my parents who are devout jehovahs witness. Both know that Im gay however my parents don't support it at all. I made pros and cons if I stayed with my parents and pros and cons with living with my sister, niece and my sisters boyfriend.
    For the those that dont know, the cons if I stay with my parents: I still can't participate in LGBT events, not really searching for my own spiritual path. Also not trying to find myself. Pretty much the same things that jehovahs witnesses cant which is this below.

    Things Jehovah's Witnesses Can't Do.

    Pros for staying with my parents is that ill have my own bathroom and can save more money.

    If I stay with my sister her boyfriend and niece the cons are:
    My niece is spoiled rotten with a smart mouth she is very loud she has a ton of energy. Also my niece she gets sick a lot including vomiting which I honestly have a fear of seeing someone else vomiting when I'm right in front of them. My sister can be very loud and I wouldn't be surprise if my sister and her boyfriend start fighting. Plus Im going to continue to go to school and one semester Im going to be going to school full time and I need to study. I also get pretty annoyed easily at times when I'm stressed.

    The pros if I stay with my sister I can pretty much be myself, and create (finding) myself. I can do whatever I want, go see rated R movies hang posters
    on my walls, going to LGBT events making friends who aren't jehovahs
    witness. I don't have to tell wear Im going every time I leave the house etc.

    NOW THIS IS JUST RECENTLY like 3 days ago and what I really want to talk about.
    My sister stopped by the house like 2-3 days ago and wanted to talk to me she said she has been trying to contact me but it turns out she changed her number. Anyways my sister asked me if Im going to go ahead and move in with her along with her boyfriend and my niece in a townhouse they are renting. Ive been thinking about and considered it a few weeks ago and so I said yeah.
    Well my sister told me a big situation, she opened up her jacket and her stomach was big and she said that she is having another baby! : O Another girl at that. To be honest Im still a little taken back because my niece already is a handful and now having another niece! Not to mention she hasnt told my parents yet my sister is 26 but thats a different story. Anyways my sister said if I lived there, that they have it. Im going to have to contribute a little bit financially but they said they (my sister and her bf) have the finances and watch their children. My sister works full time and her boyfriend has 3 jobs and taking classes, idk if thats even possible. Now I do have to babysit in the near future but only once in awhile and I dont mind I just told her not on the regular and she said it was fine. My sister said if I dont like it there, then just let her know and she said for 6 months. She wasnt mean about it either. She just likes it when people communicate which my parents really don't.
    My sister said she is moving to the townhouse which will have 3 bedrooms on February the 1st.

    My dad even said that I need to get out on my own and that this would be good for me which it is but he said if I dont like it for 6 months let him know. My parents are worried that my sister would try to take advantage of me and my sister already told me what was going down already, plus I told my sister I didnt have any money to give out anyways and she assured me that they are not depending on me. However with my another baby on the way I dont know if Im going to be stay long maybe for that 6 months I planned on staying with my sister family for a year or 2 but not anymore.
    My dad did say that they will help out with me a little bit.

    However Im not sure what Im going to do after the 6 months if I stay with my parents I cant be myself and living with my sister family 3 months with a new born is going to be crazy. Plus with me going to school and working esp in the summer its going to be a lot. But between the 6months if I get overwhelm with school and work I guess I can stay at my parents house an study and spend the night and then go back to my sister/ my place.

    One of my old friend is moving back here from Boston in May for college but most likely he will be either staying in a dorm on campus or with his mother who has bipolar disorder. I said hopefully we can be roommates and he said yeah maybe! So Im not really sure if we would but he did say we're like family.
    I mean this maybe a sign he's coming down for school and my parent said that they would help me out a little financially I could finally have an apartment with a roommate while in school. I don't know though Im just saying.

    The dynamic of the family is changing I will be out of the house for at least 6 months, my parents are sending my grandmother (paternal) back home to Chicago because its not working out between her and my parents and that she can only come live with them during the winter time so she will be moving back in March. My parents are downsizing! Alots going on.

    I guess overall what Im trying to ask is, What would you do if you were me for the living arrangements? I have a few thousands of dollars but it wont last.
     
    #1 TyTy91, Jan 3, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2014
  2. baby

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    I say that you should stay where you feel the most loved, accepted and safe. Where can you do the most good?
     
  3. Gen

    Gen
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    Well, I wouldn't stay with your parents if you feel oppressed there.

    Living in the townhouse might be a bit hectic, but I wouldn't treat that living arrangement any different than if I were in the dorms as many of your peers are. Don't study in the townhouse, study in the campus library. You can even find other people in your classes and forms groups there. Go out and join clubs, events, activities during your free time. Even if your just relaxing on your laptop, do it in a student lounge or social area. Try to get out more and only spend time in townhouses or dorms when you need rest or foot.
     
  4. biggayguy

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    I would take your sister's offer. You could live there until you find a good room mate.
    I've seen many students catch some sleep on campus. Just make sure to keep you stuff close by or locked up. Many places at school can be quieter than home.
     
  5. TyTy91

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    I think things had changed for the better. My sister boyfriends brother is moving back to St. Louis to take care of his mother I believe but where he lives now is a 4 bedroom house and so my sister asked me if I want to come and since there will be more room now Im definitely going. Plus its right by everything and Im closer to my job and school and also my sister and her boyfriend are a little bit closer to their jobs and schools too. The rent isnt bad either and my parents ae somewhat coming around said that they would help out a little bit financially They are moving at the end of February Ill be moving then or early March! : )