Hello, I am a lesbian whose been out for years and was recently dating someone who has never been with another woman. Our age difference is 15 years but she is more mature in her thinking so it never really bothered me. We get along well and have a lot in common. She told me that she's always had feelings or was curious about other women and would find them attractive but never actually acted upon her feelings until me. She's only dated one guy for six years and is still a virgin. She's broken up with her boyfriend and we have become closer and have become intimate. She tells me that I am what she's always wanted in a person and that she loves me like she's never felt before for anyone. I too fell in love with her. Just yesterday she told me that she could no longer be intimate or date and that she wanted to be best friends and still talk and text daily only because she said she could never come out to her parents and family and that she feels somewhat guilty because of her religious beliefs...I have never been so devastated and broken hearted because to me she's the one...I've never dated a bisexual or someone that's never been with women, so I am a bit confused but understand that this is so new and confusing for her. Can anyone share with me what it must feel like to be in her shoes? I told her I would wait for her...
She's in a place of pure confusion that can take years to come out of. As a former Christian, and formerly closeted, I know the pressure that being in the closet can bring. I'm sure it's nothing personal from her to you - it's likely not a thing about being ashamed of you - but more being shamed by her beliefs and the peer pressure. If I were you, I'd say it's best not to wait. Live your life. If you wait for her, you may just be setting yourself up for a big disappointment. Leave the door open, perhaps. But it's likely better if you allow yourself distance from the situation to move on.
I know I shouldn't be mad or upset but it's hard not to be because if she really felt in love and true happiness with me why wouldn't she come out for it? That's maybe my selfishness coming out . I guess I'm just extremely hurt because I would have done anything for her.
