Hey guys, Recently I started seeing the most wonderful guy I could ever hope to cross paths with. We've been dating casually for about a month and a half. We hang out at least a few times a week, have met and can chill with each others friends (which is almost impossible to find lol) - occasionally he's spent a whole weekend at my house just hanging out. I feel different about him. Like anyone I've ever consciously thought I "loved" I can see where it wasn't really love, but infatuation or convenience. Like I needed them to need me. In relationships I've been in, I've been a little "selfish". After I orgasm, I feel kind of aloof. With him, though, I only want to please him. I don't even care if I get off. Just pleasing him is enough for me. Not in a pushover way, mind you. We have an interesting back and forth rapport to our relationship. We really haven't discussed titles or where the relationship is going (I like this as it allows our relationship to blossom naturally). When I put something out there, he generally sends it back in his own time (rather than being obligated to say something back). Last night, we were hanging out, joking, making out, listening to music. I was overcome with this intense feeling like I lost myself - it felt like we were the only two in the universe. It crossed my mind to tell him I love him. Awesomely enough, we had a wordless conversation using only kissing and the song playing to "speak" to each other. But I wanted him to know. I told him he was beautiful. He said it was a really big compliment and that he doesn't want to get "hyped" up - I told him I would never say such a thing unless I MEANT. He kissed me even harder back. I've never felt like this before - I've never even told anyone how beautiful they are. He's leaving for the military in 4 months. I've known this since we first met, but some part of me would brave even the distance to be with him. I don't want to bog him down when he leaves. But I want him to know he's loved. Should I keep that to myself if it must eventually end? Is a month and a half too short a time to be feeling this way/saying it out loud? Thanks guys. I can always count on your advice.
personally i wouldnt say i love you that quick, idk, it would make me think the other person needed me in some way or something. you could be feeling infatutaion as the honeymoon stage isnt over yet. his situation he is in might possibly make your feelings stronger and you might think something more than if he wasnt leaving, though. idk though. just my 2c. everyone is different though, say it if you want. some people say i love you after a few days, if youre questioning something though which it possibly sounds like you are a little the timing probably isnt right. one thing i have learnt!
a minimum of 6 months if you're wanting a time factor. You should not say I love you for at least 6 months because anything earlier could be Chemical lust. and you say in 4 months he's going off plus a month and a half nowhas gone bythat's five and a half months total which is close enough to know but I still would hold off and let him go with unsaid unless he says it first before he goes.I would recommend if he comes back to you on one of his home visits let it be said then. Good luck! June
It's not something to be measured in time. It differs with the person and situation for me. But I would say a few months would be needed for me to love someone. I've had someone tell me he loved me after the first date. I couldn't help but laugh. I suppose it's different for everyone though. With my ex boyfriend, he said he loved me before we even seriously discussed dating and I said it back - I hadn't really thought about it yet but I just knew it was right. I had known him for two years however and really liked him since a couple of months earlier - months during which we were really close friends. But since he dumped me a month later I don't know how the love that he spoke of really worked.
