right now i feel like I have nowhere/ no one else to go to so here it goes Hi everyone, yesterday I cut myself..... I did it because i just can't take everything that's going on right now. ever since I started to come out at school people have been weird around me and no one is talking to me anymore, not even my friends. Then, the other day I told one of my friends that i had a crush on him, it turns out he was straight and now he's avoiding me all together. I used to go to him for advice all the time and now I have nobody. My parents hate me because I've been doing badly in school, I can't tell them whats really going on because I haven't came out to them yet and there extremely homophobic. I feel like i should just give up and kill myself..... :help:
Cutting or killing yourself is not the answer. It's something that cannot be undone. In the moment you do it, you will regret that u ever did it, and by the time u say "no I wish I didn't do this" it's too late. There is absolutely no reason to kill yourself. Find at least one trusted person or family member who can be supportive of you and be there for you. Anyone, it could be a cousin or uncle or anyone who you trust! Do you ever wanna be famous one day? Maybe make music or be an athlete or anything alone those lines? If so then take action in that. Do what you love to do. Go focus on being the best at what you do and becoming famous and think to yourself "I'm gonna be famous one day and not give a shit about any of the kids at school that hasn't talked to me, especially my best friend" WHO CARES ABOUT THE KIDS AT SCHOOL AND YOUR FRIEND. You do not owe ANYTHING to them. NOTHING at all. You go be you and worry about only yourself. Do not think of anyone else. Tell yourself "okay what can I do for ME to make MY day better". And maybe there is possibly an LGBT club at your school you can join. You can meet and talk and make friends there and then you will have an enormous amount of support. Anyone who does not talk to u when u come out is just pathetic. Don't worry about them. Sooner or later they should all come around and be okay with it. Unfortunately it takes time because they are taken back by it. But I bet some people will come around and be okay with it then. So all you need to do is worry about yourself. You do not owe anything to anyone. At all. And you never will owe anything to anyone. Go find something you love to do and think about having a successful life, make a lot of money, and driving a nice ass expensive fast car in your future. Worry about YOU. Not anyone else. Good luck man!
I don't mean to be dismissive OP, but your parents don't hate you for bad grades. They can only be concerned for you. I can't judge their gay opinion so easily, but that should probably come up sooner or later. Do you think they'd want to kick you out? But as for your friends, it is easier said than done, but try to find new ones. People who don't accept you are not people you need around. You don't need to change for them. You said no one's talking to you; have you tried talking to them? I guarantee there are a handful of people at your school who aren't ignorant and horrible. So smile, because once you find people who like you for you and not for your presented straightness, your life will take a 180. Oh, and I almost forgot to add-- try talking to your crush. Not for hitting on him, as he already made that clear. But if you remind him that you are the same person as before*, there is a chance that he'll change his mind eventually. It might also get rid of his new view of you as "the gay kid" to say you don't appreciate the sudden shut-out and that you don't deserve it.
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way right now. Please know, you have done nothing wrong and you do not deserve to be treated badly by all these people. If your friends are truly being funny all of a sudden, why not calmly ask them? Ask one of your friends if anything is wrong, and explain that you feel as if they are acting differently around you now. If they continue being rude or disrespectful, I'm sure you could find people who will love and accept you no matter what! I know it's tough, but sometimes you have got to move on when people aren't treating you well. As for your parents, I'm sorry, I'm sure they don't hate you. If you are focusing in school and completing your work as best as you can, then they should be so proud. As for them being homophobic, sometimes parents have a change of heart when they realize their child is gay. Some people completely change. However, not all parents do. I want to make that clear, as I was lead to believe that my homophobic father would completely accept and love me no matter what. It's not always the case. He still is angry about it. So use caution with your parents and think very hard. How homophobic are they? With your crush, I think maybe you should tell him that you didn't mean to make him uncomfortable but (as stated above) you're still the same person and that you feel kind of bad that people are treating you differently. Keep your head up, and please, do not harm yourself. I myself have a past with self harm (I was your age) and I can honestly say that it is only a short release of stress, it will only cause problems in the long run. Please, I beg you, know that your life will improve drastically within the next year even. You always have us, on this site, to speak with, and we all care for you, even if we don't know you. Stay strong
