Sorry, this is probably in the wrong place... But I had no idea where to put it. I was just wondering, as a gay teen, is it normal to be afraid about future hostility I'll receive from people who don't necessarily understand "gay people? I'm not talking about your general trash talker, I've heard about people being severely hurt (physically) and I know it's not too common and we're making progress with people being more open minded, but I can't help but be afraid that I'll witness, or be hurt physically myself by someone simply because I'm gay I was just wondering if it's normal to fear this, and if I really shouldn't worry? Or how to avoid it?
It's natural to be worried about it, but fear might be a little strong, if only because living in fear is really unhealthy! I don't want to say too much in terms of your chances, because I don't know anything about where you live or your circumstances or the kinds of people that live around you, but all I will say is that while it does happen to some, and it probably always will, you can't go around thinking it will happen to you, otherwise you will spend your whole life scared to leave the house. I don't know any specific facts about how likely it is you'll get attacked, I couldn't give you figures or anything, but I'm prepared to bet the chance is much lower than just about anything else you could possibly be hurt by in the big wide world - you don't spend your time scared of being run down by a car, but that is super common! Having said that, just be aware of times when it COULD happen, don't spend too long wondering around dark streets alone in the middle of the night for example
It's definitely normal to know that it's an actual thing, that it actually happens, etc, and to be mindful of it. For instance, when I'd go to see my long-distance girlfriend who lived in the middle of the "Bible belt", we knew it wasn't a good idea to show public affection (as opposed to where I live, where no one cares). Her brother actually had a friend who did some pretty bad things to a gay guy. But it's one thing to be mindful of it, and another to live in fear. Constantly feeling unsafe because of your orientation is not a fun way to live. Depending where you live, it's a good bet that the majority of people won't care, and the ones who do will just stay away from you. It's always a good idea to "feel out" someone before coming out to them... Help the topic come up in normal conversation and see how they react. If they seem extremely anti-gay, just write them off as someone who doesn't need to know.
I'm closeted and even still I find myself constantly checking over my shoulder because I am a total nervous WRECK! I'm pretty sure I live in a pretty accepting place, but there's definitely still some traditionalists everywhere. I guess it's your average place. I mean, it's not like when I'm in public, people will point me out as gay, I look like your average guy. I guess I'm just paranoid lmao! :lol:
Yeah, it's normal to be scared of it. I can't stand this feeling, but I get it a lot. Maybe that's because recently, a gay guy at my school was talking about me behind my back, saying some really messed up stuff, all because he doesn't believe in bisexuality. I also get paranoid about these kids on my bus; they don't seem to be the accepting type, and I'm pretty sure they saw me holding hands with my past girlfriend (now ex) on a few occasions. In all honesty, the thought of my ex getting hurt or attacked is scarier than that of getting beat up myself. Luckily, for all the people that are homophobic, biphobic, and just plain hateful, very few of them are actually willing to go out and attack someone for that reason. And out of those people who are willing, very few of them will actually take the chance, they'll just sit and grumble about it. Plus, in my area, the risk is really high for any potential attackers; to be caught for a hate crime of any sort would result in HUGE consequences. So I wouldn't worry about it all the time. Just be aware, don't make dumb decisions, etc. You should be fine.
I am not out to everyone - but I do give off that 'gay vibe' and I'm sure people know. Well as a matter of fact I know, because the most common response I get to coming out is "yeah I already knew that" or something along the lines. But I digress. I know I can hold my own in a physical fight, I am pretty physically fit. If not I'm a marathon runner so I can just run away :lol: . I don't let it get to me though, pretty much anyone is subject to acts of violence. I was once held up at gunpoint at a restaurant that was being robed.
I think that it is normal in some ways. It's true that minorities tend to get singled out more. I know that I'm quite defensive when I talk to straight men especially when they know how I identify but I also have experience and reasons to be like yourself. Ya, I wish the world was all butterflies and rainbows but unfortunately it's not. Which is why you need to some times take precautions. That doesn't mean that you should not go out or avoid people...certainly not that, just be aware of your surroundings.
