Worried about online dating

Well first things first things first is to establish some off-site contact with any person you want to meet with. It's not foolproof but it does mean if they are pretending to be someone else they have to have done it in more than one place and you can look out for inconsistencies.

If you DO meet up with someone, tell someone where you are going and go somewhere with people. That'll keep you safe for first contact at least.

As for people not liking you, that's all a question of how many people are on the site. I find it difficult to believe nobody else on there isn't an outdoors type person, and even if they are that they won't like you because you aren't!

Also, even I'VE had people say they like my profile (although nothing has come of any of them) so if I can, anyone can!

 

There are some pretty simple steps you can take to set some safe guidelines. Talk to each person online a few times before agreeing to meet. If you can skype, that might be a good way to get to know them. When you decide to meet, meet in a neutral but public location first - a coffee shop, or a casual restaurant. It won't look like a date to anyone on the outside.

Lex

 

I understand. To be honest, I was the exact same way, and I still am. I signed up on some dating sites, although no matter what, I stay cautious. Of course there are some dating sites where you gotta pay for an upgrade, but I heard that there were some scams, so my advice is NEVER pay for membership. Stick with the free membership. Also, be careful of who you meet. If you ever meet someone, as both ElliaOtaku and Lexington said, make sure you meet in public, where people are around. If you want, you could bring a trusted friend who knows that you signed up on a dating site. And yep, Skype is easier, although I heard that there are some fake web videos that creeps can actually do to trick people. I heard there is a way to prove this: Grab a sheet of paper, write whatever you want on it (make sure your writing is clear and easy to read), show it to that person and ask if he/she/they can read your message out loud for you.

As I said, always be cautious when you're online. Never give out your full name, personal infos like phone number, social insurance number, etc. I'm still on some dating sites (sadly, I can't find any women to date in my area), and I still get nervous.

I'm not great with advices but I hope this helps!

 

I tend to advise against dating while mostly in the closet. Dating places you in a very emotionally vulnerable position, and this vulnerability is exacerbated by being in the closet. You can't tell people how dating her is making you feel, can't introduce her to other people who can give you their opinion of her, can't have friends tell you if your relationship is becoming unhealthy, and you have almost no one to turn to when the relationship ends.

 

This,
Is absolutely perfect!

 

Ok first of all let me say I met MANY of my former boyfriends and a few girlfriends via online dating, heck my currant boyfriend I met online and I am not moved in with him. So its not all bad.
Some safety guidelines
1) I suggest some sort of video messaging prior to any meet ups. Things like Skype, Google Hangouts, or Facebook video chat are a blessing.
2) If you cannot get a lot of details and at least three pictures from their website profile BE CAREFUL. ( I used to mod on online dating site so this is from experience) This isnt always the case but it is a good thing to look for.
3) Always make the first few meet ups in a public venue and let people know where you are going. Ive been guilty of neglecting this one but one weird experience in a guys apartment cured that fast. Save yourself the creepy lesson and keep it public for three or four dates.
4) When talking with this person on and off line pay attention to detail. Ive caught a few liars out there via them slipping up on personal details.
5) If your gut gives you a bad vibe LISTEN. This is likely subconscious clues that you should not ignore.

So those are my five rules that I would stand by. As an older brother and uncle I also recommend pepper spray for anyone that can legally carry it, just as a precaution.
Finally be ready to see some odd stuff online dating. Ive met some weirdos out there and modding an online dating site I've had to review things that CANNOT be unseen. Over all if you are cautious it can be a good experience but expect to get some creepers in the mix of messages.

 

I see. Well, even though dating sites are (sometimes) a good option, it's still hard meeting someone locally, just like trying to meet someone in real life. Yep, I'm in the exact same position as you and it sucks

 

^This.

 

I feel the same about online dating too. I just started it and I am in the closet. But I am slowly getting use to it. I feel that if I don't do it now then I don't know when and I can't be happy living my life a secret forever.
Obviously if I meet a nice guy then I will come out because then I would have found happiness and it wouldn't be fair on the other guy to keep my secret.
goodluck

 

But puppies are lovely!

 

I know, I want that too! Well partner, not necessarily girlfriend...You'll find someone!!

 

aw goodluck. Im a similar age to you, I am 26. I considered getting a dog as they say dogs are a man's best friend lol. But will keep this online dating going haha

 

I have used online dating to meet a lot of other women and didn't have any problems. Like I did, you must take precautions though. My suggestion for you is to suggest to meet at a public place during the day time ALWAYS. I also suggest that you ask to have a video chat whether it's via skype or your iphone beforehand. That way you will know who you are talking to. Look out for strange behavior...or facts that don't add up...and do all of that and you should be fine.