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Making major changes to your life, and the fear of doing so..

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Trailblazer, Jan 8, 2014.

  1. Trailblazer

    Full Member

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    So I'm turning 23 soon. Been getting more comfortable with the fact that I'm interested in guys more so all the time, but I'm still only out to a very select few. Mainly I've been leaving it for when I get to where I want to be in other parts of my life to deal with coming out more publically. Problem is I've been stuck in a sort of stalemate for the last couple years and even though I know that I need a change, I'm scared of making the changes. I live with my parents still, working a steady job that my family thinks I should stay with, but I really don't like the job and it isn't worth the wage(which really isn't that great, but good for no college or apprenticeship of any kind, its also pretty dead end, there's not much to take away from it if I ever got let go). I know what I would like to do, but the fear of the risk it would take to make the jump is almost overwhelming. I really don't know how to get myself to the point to take the plunge and hope for the best. I would appreciate any advice any of you have that could motivate me in any way, as the long I stay how I am the more depressed I'm getting. Im getting unbearably lonely too since I've been putting off actively looking for a relationship and someone to love until I get this sorted out.. I have a hard time sleeping not being able to shut my brain off anymore..
     
  2. Lexington

    Full Member

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    I wish I had magic words that made the jump easier, but I really don't. Because I was in a similar situation. I did have the college degree, but I was stuck in a dead-end job, living with my parents, and looking to get into a completely different field. And that field would've involved (almost certainly) moving somewhere else in the country AND a fairly big cut in pay to start out with.

    And for several months, I didn't do anything. I sat where I was, and kept feeling terrible about not doing anything.

    Finally, I started making some inquiries. (This was pre-internet days, so it was phone calls and occasional snail mail.) I asked if I could come visit possible places of employment, even if they weren't hiring or interested in me. I asked if I could talk to the people who worked there, to see if it would be something I wanted to do. And I ended up taking two lengthy trips - one to southern California, one through Colorado, New Mexico and Arizona. I was lucky enough to borrow a car from my parents, and simply drove to these places, sleeping in crappy motels and eating as cheaply as I could. I talked to a bunch of people, and the more I talked to them, the more I realized this was something I wanted to do.

    Finally, the call came. One of the places had an opening.
    A lousy, entry-level, grunt-work gig.
    In a small town in New Mexico.
    For $600 a month.

    ...I took it.

    The best decision I ever made. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  3. Tbob

    Regular Member

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    Work is roughly one third of your life, you don't want to be stuck in a job you don't like for too long. Rather than look at it as a big daunting change, try and break it up into smaller changes. For instance, start with researching whatever it is you wanted to do, it doesn't have to lead any further, but if you want to then you have started the ball rolling. A bit of research, firing off an email, or writing a letter or enquiry, are all small steps, but before you know it you will be halfway to where you want to be.