(this is a little long) Hi everyone, lately I’ve been feeling extremely depressed and very lonely. I’ll give you a little history of my life to let you know me a little better. As a child I moved around a lot, hence I was never able to have any friends worth mentioning, my mom would tend to find a lowdown piece of shit guy and we’d move in with him. She was also addicted to pharmaceuticals, she even made me act as if I had ADD or ADHD (not quite sure) simply so she could get some pills. Later into my life she ended up having a car wreck and my grandparents took custody of me, she survived the wreck and it helped her a lot, but she is still addicted to some drugs. A part of me is happy that she had her wreck it has improved my life a little, it’s at least brought stability. I know it sounds pathetic to say that and I hate myself for saying it, but it is the truth. Now that I have settled down with my grandparents I’ve been able to meet a few people, but only to the point of them saying hi and stuff, no real friends. In 10th grade I finally came to terms with my sexuality, at first I was very scared, not knowing how I’d be seen, I still haven’t come out to anyone, but two people, and I was basically forced into doing it. The person(s) that did it were a female and a guy. (We’ll call her Amy) and the guy (we’ll call him Tom.) Amy still talks to me sometimes and we have become a little more then acquaintances but not so much to call her a friend. But Tom on the other hand, he simply tried to take advantage of me, he tricked me into thinking he liked me simply to try and get into my pants, stealing my first kiss from me (nothing more then that, I’d never do anything more then kiss, unless I truly liked someone.) Sex to me is something that should be special and only shared with the person you truly love. Anyways… This was soon after I came to terms with myself over my sexuality and it tore me apart, I cried for days wishing I could change myself. But I eventually got over it. Sense then I have been very cautious about myself. My first semester of junior year I was introduced to a guy (not officially, his GF is another acquaintance of mine), "I" for the first time found myself strongly drawn to another man. A few hints were thrown from him, mainly the random grab from behind and him whispering "I bet you like this", but I’ve decided simply to leave it alone, he is straight and was probably being one of those straight assholes who act gay to make fun of you. I am now ever so slowly closing in on leaving High school and going to college. I suppose my main fear is that I will never meet the right guy for me, someone who truly loves me for me, someone I can share everything with, and someone who I know would never let anything happen to me. I’ve read stories of people who truly died alone (which kind of makes me wonder how the story was written). Though the fact remains, not knowing if you’ll ever find that certain someone scares me. I’m mainly just looking for some encouragement, also if anyone is in a similar situation, please share.
Thank you for sharing. I don't think you should hate yourself for being glad your mother got into that wreck. It was unfortunate such a thing had to happen for your life to improve, but I would be glad too if I were in similar circumstances. I'm sure you love your mother very much, but she was not taking care of you very well, and I am happy to hear that life has improved ever since you moved in with your grandparents. It sounds like you are very smart and careful around questionable guys who are trying to take advantage of you. I am glad to hear that you are thinking of going to college. More opportunities for growth and finding love will open up for you. You can always choose to go to a college that is LGBT friendly. Many of us fear that we will spend our lives alone. We're also afraid our hearts will be broken and that we will be used. I'm sure many of us relate to your fears. You can choose to let your fear rule you. Or you can accept the fear and let it drive you to improve your circumstances so that you will arrive in a place with more opportunities for meeting love. Hope this helps.
What colleges are LGBT friendly? I hate where I live (Tennessee) and I'm smart enough to get into anywhere I want, but I don't want to get into somewhere that's very bias. Also, thank you for your kind words.
I bet you're going to enjoy college a lot. If you google "LGBT friendly universities," you will find news articles and indexes of the best ones. There are many, many possibilities, and even some that you might find surprising. For example, the University of Utah in Salt Lake City is LGBT-friendly. And you wouldn't think it, because Utah is the Mormon home state, but Salt Lake City is also considered one of the friendliest LGBT cities and had a large queer population. They have a large Pride Celebration and many queer friendly businesses. There are so many options that I would recommend that you choose universities for best cost-benefit first, good degree programs second, and LGBT-friendly third. I live in the Bible Belt. I went to the University of Missouri, and there were LGBT degree programs, an LGBT center at the University And in the community, a gay club with drag shows every week... You might not expect many options in the Bible Belt, but there are quite a few. So many opportunities will open up for you that your life will Completely change. It might be challenging going off to college at first, and it might take awhile to make friends, but just open yourself up to new experiences, and you'll fit right it. Life might be difficult now, but in a year and a half, you can leave everything behind and start over again.
Hey! I know the feeling, I'm still waiting to meet someone too... I'm sorry to hear it's been hard for you, and I really hope it gets better soon!
Back to you bro, I hope you find someone. Silenthe has helped me realize something. I still have my entire life ahead of me and there is still plenty of time in my young adult life to meet someone. Also, I didn't realize Princeton was an LGBT friendly university.
Princeton is awesome! Any universities on the coasts have the advantage of amazing and beautiful location. The East Coast is beautiful. Someday, I would love to drive through that area. And you'd be close to NYC, which is pretty awesome. It's expensive to live there, but fun to visit, and it has a lot of queer history. Something to consider: As much as I appreciated the campus LGBT center and hanging out at the gay bar, the most memorable "queer" experience I had in college was taking classes in Women's and Gender Studies (WGST). These professors are really smart and dedicated to their students, because they are queer themselves, and they remember how difficult it was to grow up queer, so they will be really understanding and personable. They helped me mature intellectually and personally; often, when I had personal problems, they provided a lot of guidance. I think they consider it their duty to be there for their queer students, of which I will be grateful my whole life. Even if your major is in a vastly different field, you will probably have the take electives in Humanities, and WGST classes fall under this field. Also, LGBT has a long and amazing history. I felt proud taking these classes, because I felt like I was learning the history of "my people." Also, I met a lot of my queer friends in these classes. Gay bars are fun places to hang out, but not necessarily the best place to meet a romantic partner. At least in WGST classes, you know you share similar interests to other queer students.
Thanks for helping Silent, what college did you attend? I still haven't decided what career path I want to go down, I've always been told by my teachers and others around me I'd make a good lawyer and could one day make it into politics, but I'm not sure. I don't know if that field is right for me, yet that's the way I'm currently heading. Would you happen to know a way to help me determine what career I want to pursue?
I went to the University of Missouri. I didn't come out as queer until I was a college junior, and living in the Bible Belt worried me a bit, but it worked out. College towns are by nature usually liberal, intellectually and artistically stimulating, and accepting of queer culture. Of course, since I live in the Bible Belt, there's a church on every block, anti-LGBT preachers going around campus and preaching Hell and Damnation, and once a week, the nice Mormons are on campus passing out Bibles... But this doesn't bother me much, since if I wanted to, I could go around with a rainbow flag hollering about acceptance and kindness. I think pre-law is a great choice, because as pre-law, you can pick any major you want. So if you change your mind about going to law school, you'll have a degree in a field with career choices that you might like better, or you could go on to grad school. My main advice is: The best way to determine what career to pursue is to take classes in a variety of fields. You can't know what you'll like until you try it out. You can job shadow or take on part time work during the summer in a range of fields. Don't be afraid to change your mind often. I started out in journalism, switched to teaching, switched to English, added Nutritional Sciences, eventually got a Masters in English, and now I will go back for a degree in Clinical Lab. I've also worked in food, tutored, and I now work as a nail technician. Life happens, I guess, and statistics show that people will have an average of eight different kinds of jobs during their lifetimes. Don't worry too much about picking the "right" major right now. Think about what you like to do and what goals you have in life. Where would you like to be in ten years' time? What are your passions? Is money important to you? Where do you imagine yourself living? When I was in high school, I had No Idea what I wanted to do. I just knew that I loved to write and draw, and my life course has been determined by these two passions. So what are your passions?
Money is important to me, in today's society money is essential. I've always liked history. I also love computers, I'm on mine CONSTANTLY. I actually just completed building one a few days ago. I imagine myself living in a nice house, nothing huge or anything. 10 years from now I see myself in a nice house and a good job.
